Mayor Lockwood quotes from The Vampire Diaries

Tyler

Be more creepy, dad. Not like your son is standing right here.

Grow up. Elections are coming. She's a constituent - and a rich one, from the looks of it.

Tyler

And you can tell all that by looking at her ass. Awesome. I'm gonna go shoot some pool.

Pearl

I'm in the process of obtaining some property. I understand that your family is the largest property-owner in town.

Mayor Lockwood

Well, yes we are - dating all the way back to the town's original charter.

Pearl

Your family came in to a lot of new property in 1864.

Mayor Lockwood

You know your history.

Pearl

It's a passion of mine.

Tyler

Dad, I don't know what happened. I was drinking, and I just lost it-

(viciously slaps him) That is the last time you embarrass this family.

Damon

Mayor? Is that you?

Mayor Lockwood

What are you doing here?!

Damon

I'm a vampire. What's your excuse?