Stefan Salvatore quotes from The Vampire Diaries

Stefan

Thank you.

Damon

No, Stefan, thank you. You're back on Bambi blood, and I'm the big, bad-ass brother again. All's right in the world.

Stefan

No, I mean it. Thank you, for helping her take care of me.

Damon

You brood too much. Everything on this planet's not your fault - my actions, what I do, it's not your fault. I own them - they belong to me. You are not allowed to feel my guilt.

Stefan

You feel guilt?

Damon

If I wanted to. It's there.

Stefan

Why didn't you tell me?

Damon

'Cause I didn't want you to know. 'Cause I hated you, and I still do.

Stefan

I know.

Damon

...But not because you forced me to turn.

Stefan

Then why...?

Damon

(pause) Because she turned you, too. It was just supposed to be me, Stefan. Just me.

Stefan

Well, I know that you and Elena have bonded, and I know that she cares about you, and...I know you care about her.

Damon

Well, this is going in an interesting direction.

Stefan

I'm just concerned about Elena being hurt. She considers you...a friend.

Damon

Same here. Elena is a very good friend. Actually, she might qualify as my only..."friend."

Stefan

So, at the risk of sounding like, uh...like a jealous boyfriend...

Damon

Oh, there's no risk. You do.

Stefan

History will not be repeating itself where Elena is concerned. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Damon

Sure, sure.

Damon

Am I the only one around here who has the ability to put two and two together? Isobel! Helloooo! She dated John when she was 15; she gets pregnant, and ends up in the doctor's office of John's brother. Now, what do you think John's role is in all this? I mean, go ahead and think about it, I'll wait. (pauses) Did you get it? You there yet?

Stefan

So you think that John is Elena's father?

Damon

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Stefan

What proof do you have?

Damon

I don't need any proof - that's a DNA test for John, Elena, and Maury Povich to deal with. But I know how well you deal with these big "bombshells", so... Sleep tight.

Damon

Oh, and when you do tell Elena, and she needs a friend to talk to about anything...I'm here for her.

Stefan

What are you doing here?

Damon

Why wouldn't I be here? It's Founder's Day! I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl.

Stefan

Don't start with me, Damon.

Damon

Oh, you started it, Stefan, with the whole "I'm insecure, leave Elena alone" speech. I'm just enjoying that.

Stefan

As long as you heard it.

Damon

(pretends not to hear him) Huh? What?

Elena

I have enough problems with the family that I actually care about. Jeremy hates me - and why wouldn't he? My journal gave him every single reason to.

Stefan

He's just hurt, he's confused.

Elena

He's never going to forgive me for Vicki, for taking away his memories, for lying to him...

Stefan

He's your brother, he'll forgive you. Just give him some time.

Stefan

Elena's relationship with her brother is none of your business, so stay out of it.

Damon

Oh, there's only one do-gooder, hero role available? My bad, I'm sorry.

Stefan

Get over yourself. We both know that you're not doing this for the right reasons.

Damon

See, there you go with that little jealousy act again. It's just, what are the right reasons, Stefan? I mean, enlighten me! Please!

Stefan

See, Damon, it's only real when it comes from your desire to do the right thing for nothing in return.

Damon

Right...

Stefan

Yeah, and I know that that is an entirely foreign concept to you. I completely understand that you wouldn't get it.

Damon

Saving your life, in 15 words or less. Tomb vamps are here, founding families are their target. [to Stefan] Get her out of here, now!

Stefan

Wait, where are you going?

Damon

That's more than 15 words, Stefan.

Stefan

Hey. How's Caroline?

Not good. [Hugs Stefan] Just what I needed. [Goes to kiss Stefan. Stefan suddenly jerks Katherine back and growls, then throws Katherine across room]

Stefan

Katherine.

Katherine

At least I fooled one of you. [Stefan zips over and smashes her up against the wall with a growl] Feel better?

Elena

Stefan?

Stefan

Elena.

Elena

What happened?

Damon

Katherine happened.

Stefan

She said she fooled one of us, at least. What does that--what does that mean?

Damon

She pretended to be Elena, too, when I showed up earlier tonight.

Stefan

What happened tonight when you thought she was Elena?

Damon

(winces) To risk another frown line encroaching on a very crowded forehead... We...kissed.

Elena

And you thought it was me?

Stefan

What do mean you "kissed"?

Damon

Well you know when two lips pucker and they go... (makes kissing noise)

Damon

I've got a better idea.

Elena

What's that?

Damon

I'm just gonna ignore the bitch. See ya.

Elena

Is that smart?

Damon

If Katherine thinks she's being ignored, it'll lure her out. She'll make a move.

Stefan

Yeah? Then what?

Damon

Stake her...rip her head off...something poetic. We'll see.