Damon Salvatore quotes from The Vampire Diaries

Damon

Believe me, I learned my lesson. Elena without humanity is a stone-cold bitch, and I won’t trust her until we get the old Elena back.

Damon

Relax. I just want to show you all the things you've been missing out on since you took the giant leap over the cuckoo's nest.

Damon

If I hear the word doppelganger one more time, I think I'm gonna actually have to learn how to spell it.

Damon

You do realize that you are dating a reformed serial killer, right?

Damon

You must have restless sleep syndrome or something - it's like sleeping with a tornado.

Damon

Ok...train's leaving the station. Choo-choo.

Damon

Well unfortunately, Stefan, there are two types of vampires in the world, OK? There are those who can handle moderation, and then there's you.

Damon

New Jersey? The supernatural other world is bound by an object in Snooki's backyard?

Damon

Tessa may be insane, but she's a bona fide genius. 2,000 years old, immortal, indestructible. The anchor isn't a thing. It's a person.

Damon

Elena, meet crazy pants. Crazy pants, meet Elena.

Damon

Love what you've done with the place. You know, if this whole boarding house thing doesn't pan out, you can always turn it into a high-class brothel.

Damon

Pop quiz. So your girlfriend's taken by a mad scientist. Now do you: a) get a new girlfriend; b) call the police; or c) kill someone close to that mad scientist.

Damon

A hundred pages of horrific torture, and you find the one happy passage.

Damon

Liv has a twin? Is it possible for there to just be one of someone around here?

Damon

I'm gonna staple your tongue to your chin.