I think I'm going crazy.
You're not going crazy, Arthur. You're going sane in a crazy world!
S1 E1The Tick vs. The Idea Men
S1 E2The Tick vs. Chairface Chippendale
CChairface
I haven't always had friends like you, because I was born...different. Because I didn't fit in, society shunned me. All my life, the world's tried to forget my face, but after tonight, they will never forget my name!
The party's over, Chairface! Give up, or we'll write this place off the face of the Earth!
CChairface
[anticlimactically] Okay.
S1 E3The Tick vs. Dinosaur Neil
This cake is delicious, Dot. What is it?
DDot
Chocolate.
S1 E4The Tick vs. Mr. Mental
MMr. Mental
You know what I miss? I miss the old days, when I'd think up a sinister scheme for world domination and you'd show a little emotional support.
MMr. Mental
Don't mess with me, fool! I'm cooking with gas!
S1 E5The Tick vs. The Breadmaster
[Stuart's store has been destroyed by the Breadmaster]
It must be quite a shock!
SStuart
I'll say, I don't have bread insurance.
Don't despair, Stuart. You can rebuild! Here! Start with these. Cottony swabs.
S1 E6The Tick vs. El Seed
BTBee Twins
Hey, what kind of corn soldiers are you?
Uh... We're colonels [kernels]!
S1 E7The Tick vs. The Tick
BHBarry Hubris
Where's the jerk who calls himself the TICK?!
I am that jerk!
EMThe Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight
And so he says to me, he says, “You want to be a baaaaad guy?!” and I say, “Yeah, baby! I want to be bad!” I says, “Surf's up, Space Ponies! I'm making gravy without the lumps!” Ah ha ha ha ha haaaaa!
BSBig Shot
As everyone knows, I used to be a very violent person. I tried to resolve all of my problems with [twitches psychotically] GUNS! But I've been going to therapy and it's turned my life around.
What are you...doing?
EMThe Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight
Hi! I just, uh, I just, uh, wanted to use, the, uh, – and so he says, “Evil's okay in my book! What about yours?!” And I go, “Yeah, baby, yeah! Yeah!” – I just wanted to, uh, wash my hands.
Oh, uh, okay. But why does your bag say "bombs" on it?
EMThe Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight
Oh, that's just, uh – Boom, baby, boom! I'm the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight!
Oh great.
EMThe Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight
Eat my smoke, copper! [laughs maniacally]
BHBarry Hubris
Say uncle!
Okay. Uncle.
BHBarry Hubris
No, no! You know, I mean renounce your name and call me the Tick!
You...are...Barry Barry Barry Barry Barry Barry Barry Barry Barry Barry
S1 E8The Tick vs. The Uncommon Cold
TThrakkorzog
Hey! What's happening here?
TSThrakkorzog's roommate
The little bunny guy was chafing himself on the ropes, so I loosened them up a bit.
TThrakkorzog
You WHAT? He's a moth guy! And how many times do I have to say it? Don't touch my stuff! This is my side of the living room and that is your side of the living room! And must you drink milk straight out of the milk carton? It's DISGUSTING!
[The Tick is trying to determine the real Arthur from an evil clone]
Remember that time my sister gave me that V neck sweater vest for my birthday and we tried to return it to the store and they'd only give me credit and I was so upset and then at lunch they put onions on my cheeseburger after I expressly asked the waitress not to. Do you remember that day, Tick?
Indeed I do. Now your turn.
ACArthur clone
I Arthur.
I can't argue with that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Tick pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.