Goody, Kray and others in “Yuletide Spirit”

Dead sexy, knickers and a bra. I was that embarrassed buying them, I had to say they were for me.

There's only one set of underwear a girl wants at Christmas: yours. You hitch up your boxers and say "There's the wrapping, doll. The present's inside!" (laughs and leaves)

I think I'm gonna be sick...

Oh it's alright, son. You know fellas that talk about it most do it least. I know. I talk about it all the time. And I haven't had any since the days of Harold Wilson.

I never knew you were in a gay relationship!

What are you talking about?

This bloke Harold Wilson that you were having it with.

Kevin, he was the Prime Minister!

Blimey! And you an ordinary copper! You did do well.