Malcolm and Ollie in “The Rise Of The Nutters”

Malcolm

You take this and this, and you put it onto your bird's breasts, and you rub them and squeeze them very very gently, you get her into the sack, you bang her fucking brains out, you make sure that she cums, and you just give her the policy!

Ollie

Yeah, but I chucked her, and not in a kind of, you know, 'It's not you, it's me' sort of way, more in a 'It is you, you hideous vacuous Sloane bitch from hell' kind of scorched-earth kind of –

Malcolm

I'm really not interested at all in your little tiff. Get round there, take your Barry White album and your lube and your fucking policy folder.

Ollie

Malcolm, this is really crossing the line here –

Malcolm

Don't start with the moral objections, you fucking Blue Peter badge-wearing ponce! Go and make a contribution to fucking Amnesty International, go and buy a goat the whole village can fuck! But you are doing this for me.

Ollie

Malcolm, you're bullying me, and, you know, I don't know why you're bullying me, you're –

Malcolm

How dare you? How dare you! Don't you ever, ever, call me a bully. I'm so much worse than that. Do it. OK? Wash your hands.