(In this scene, Peter Mannion, the Leader of the Opposition, is having a chat with his adviser, Phil Smith. As they're entering Opposition Headquarters, Peter and Phil are discussing Emma's relationship with Ollie...and Phil just happens to be Emma's roommate.)
Are they actually sleeping together?
Yes, yeah. In the flat.
Do you think she's on top or, what-what do you hear?
Well, I hear her say, "How do you like it?" And he'll say, "I've got to page Tucker."
Oh, God. (beat) Have I shaved properly? It's just we're-we're having the bathroom done and I was in the kitchen this morning using the kettle as a mirror.
No, you're very smooth. So it's a chrome kettle, then?
You've been watching CSI again, haven't you?
(As Peter and Phil are walking up the stairs, they are joined by Emma, who is also Peter's advisor.)
Morning.
(to Emma) Oh, hello. How was sleeping with the enemy?
(sarcastically) Oh, hilarious. I forgot how funny you were.
(The three of them are nearing the office...)
(to Emma) What time are you seeing Stewart?
It'll be in about half an hour. What about you?
(groaning) Oh, I'll be last in. He's punishing me for standing against JB in the leadership contest by putting me in the Ryanair queue.
Come on, he got you that terrific photo op with the, uh, wind turbine thing on your house, remember?
Yes, and it cost me 12 grand. And I have to pay for the electricity bill to keep the bugger turning because, of course, there's no wind in the valley, I have to plug it in. But my next door neighbor has an England flag that just hangs there limply while my turbine mysteriously whizzes around.
Could turn the turbine round so it blows his flag.
(Peter, Emma and Phil finally sit down.)
Right. What's up first, then, Peter?
While we're here, we could bat a few ideas around.
He wants something fluffy for the speech, does he? Environment? Tax breaks for aromatherapists? SatNav for asylum seekers?
Well, I was thinking about a departmental blog.
(groaning again) Oh, God. Really?
I could actually do the..the writing bit of it, because you wouldn't have time.
Well, I mean, I might as well, I've knack all else to do. (Peter turns to Phil) Though, um...to be honest, you-you sort it out.
I thought we could have like a guest book so that, kind of, you know, readers can kind of leave their comments.
(to Emma) Are you sure? Have you ever Googled your own name? It's like opening a door to a room where everyone tells you how shit you are.
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