How is my blog? My own personal blog, personally written by me?
(they all go to the computer)
There we go.
Oh, brilliant.
Yesterday you liked the leader's speech, it was bold and courageous and sent out the right signals, and you had a fruit lunch.
Oh, I write very well. What's the feedback like?
Pretty good. Let's see on this page here. Here we go.
"I don't trust you, you Cypriot crook."
What?
Cypriot? This is the shit room. You've opened the shit room door.
Oh come on, that's not too bad.
"How are the maintenance payments going on your bastard?" Christ, that was twelve years ago!
I hadn't seen that one.
"Adulterous Nazi"?
Or that one.
That's actually I think the same one.
This is the trouble with the public, they're fucking horrible.
Peter, you really – you can't say the public are fucking horrible.
Yes I can, I've met them. "You've always got such a pained expression. Do you take it up the chutney?" Really? I mean, for God's sake.
The chutney?
Yes, it's up the arse.
See this: I still don't understand why people do this 'h8' thing. If you're going to leave a message, I mean, at least spell it correctly.
What the fuck was that all about? You know, nicking the other lot's ideas?
You jumped straight on the bandwagon, you hypocrite.
You started it. You know, at least I'm not nicking my boyfriend's ideas.
You sanctimonious twat! Jesus, you're not my dad, Phil, even if you do dress like him.
(knocking from behind glass) What's going on?
Swain was supposed to flag up the coalface idea last night but he didn't. So Emma nicked it.
(to Emma) Oh, fuck-tastic. Not only was it a shit idea to ruin my holiday, it was a shit idea you stole from the government to ruin my holiday. Good work.
(to Phil) Thanks a lot, Supergrass.
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