(Stewart and Peter start their chat.)
So. How are you, then?
(nodding) Fine, I'm-I'm fine.
Good, superb, because the reason I've asked you in -- I mean, firstly, just to say, "Hi, how are you?"...
Still fine.
Then, this photo call this afternoon, "100 Days of the New Leader." We've got you a Paul Smith suit. I did think about Vivienne Westwood or...Well, it was just too expensive. And, oh, and a Ted Baker... (Stewart pulls out a pinkish-looking shirt with stripes on it.) Ted Baker shirt, right? No tie, we're thinking open-necked look might be good.
But I'm already wearing a suit and, controversially, a tie.
Yeah, absolutely, sure. But frankly, you know, it all looks a bit '80s, you know? Robert Palmer, Sink the Belgrano, that kind of vibe. We think this is better, it's modern, it's sharp, it's slimming. Try it on.
(in amused disbelief) Is this a joke?
Try the suit on.
(Moments later, Stewart makes Peter change into a different suit and shirt.)
Just wondering whether you're fully conversant with the new line, whether you're really up to speed?
Well, I don't know. Am I? Because, uh, I get people stopping me in the streets and saying, 'Are you still for locking up yobbos?', and I say, 'Yeah, of course we are.' And then I think, 'Well, are we?' Because maybe I missed a memo from you. Maybe I should understand yobbos now, or not even call them yobbos, call them 'young men with issues around stabbing.' (awkward silence) No tie, you say?
No tie.
Quite a nice suit, actually.
So, we were thinking...Shirt outside the trousers.
Outside? Not tuck my shirt in?
Yeah.
I always tuck my shirt in, it's part of getting dressed. What, should I not do my flies up either? Let the old chap flop out. Is that modern enough for you?
Just try it, Peter. Not the cock out, but just the shirt thing.
(untucking his shirt) I'm from a generation of men, Stewart, who tuck their shirts in. I've done it since I was a boy, I was told off for not doing it.
Oh God, no, you were right. Sorry, no, tuck it in. You look like you've been startled by a fire alarm.
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