Moe and Carl in “Pygmoelian”

[after looking at his face in the year's calendar] Am I really that ugly?

Carl

Moe, it's all relative. Just like, is Lenny that dumb? [Lenny gasps] Is Barney that drunk? [Barney gasps] Is Homer that lazy, bald, and fat? [Homer gasps]

Oh, God, this is worse than I thought! [He, Lenny, Barney, and Homer break down sobbing.]

Carl

[to the audience] See, this is why I don't talk much.