[As Homer enters the Kwik-E-Mart, we are shown that Apu has decorated it with tons of American flags and is dressed in a baseball shirt and a cowboy hat.]
[speaking in a forced American accent rather than his natural Indian accent] Hey there, Homer. How's it hanging?
[walks past Apu] Low and lazy, so- [backs up and squints at Apu] Say something again.
Oh, you're just noticing the way I'm talking to you now. You see, it turns out [shows Homer the fake ID he purchased from Fat Tony earlier] I am an American citizen after all. Apparently, I just plum forgot about it. [forced laughter] Say, let's take a relaxed attitute toward work and watch the baseball match. The NY [pronounces it like the word "nigh"] Mets are my favorite squadron.
[notices that the statue of Ganesha that Apu previously had standing on the counter has been replaced by a magazine rack] Hey, you got rid of that goofy sacred elephant statue.
[hesitates] Oh, yeah. What was I thinking with that? Who needs the infinite compassion of Ganesha when I've got [takes a magazine off the rack, voice gets progressively louder and more agitated as his natural accent returns] Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman staring at me from Entertainment Weekly with their dead eyes?! [tosses the magazine aside] Look at me! I've betrayed my Indian heritage, sir! What would my parents think of me now? [he looks at the magazine he threw aside, as Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman on the cover speak in the voices of Apu's parents, repeating what they told him before he left for America]
Make us proud, son.
Never forget who you are.
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