TV QuotesDatabase
S3

The Simpsons · Season 3

Homer, Bart and others in “Dog of Death”

I want to tell you about the most wonderful place in the world: Doggie Heaven. In Doggie Heaven, there are mountains of bones, and you can't turn around without sniffing another dog's butt! And all the best dogs are there, Old Yeller, and about eight Lassies.

Is there a Doggie hell?

Well... of course, there couldn't be a heaven if there weren't a hell.

Who's in there?

Oh, uh... Hitler's dog... and that dog Nixon had, what's his name, um, Chester...

Checkers.

Yeah! One of the Lassies is in there, too. The mean one! The one who mauled Timmy!

Hey, wait a minute. Does this have to do anything with Santa's Little Helper?

Oh, honey, seven hundred and fifty dollars is a lot of money. We really can't afford this operation.

You're gonna just let him die?

I know you're upset.

[ticked off] Darn right, I'm upset!

[covers Bart's mouth] Bart! Watch your language! [uncovers Bart's mouth] Oh, you did. Sorry.

[ticked off] I'm not gonna let our dog die and that's it! [furiously leaves the kitchen and angrily mumbles to himself]

Well, it will be okay. We'll get him a new dog-- one with an untwistable stomach.

SSSanta's Little Helper

[whimpers on Homer's leg]

[gets annoyed] Oh, come on. I'm sorry but we just can't afford it. Marge, make him stop. Oh! All right, all right, we'll find a way. Lousy, manipulative dog.

More from this episode

All quotes from this episode →

More The Simpsons quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.