The Rockford Files quotes

Rocky

You know, they can get spare parts for trucks. But people? There ain't no spare parts for people!

[Jim, Rocky, and Sorel are walking on the pier. Rocky is still upset that he was told that he is too old to be an organ donor] Now that I'm out of a job, maybe I'll get into something really challenging.

Jim

Yeah? Like what?

I always wanted to be an "astro-nom-omer".

Jim

Naw, that's pronounced "a-stron-o-mer".

Oh, well. Same job, no matter what. Looking at stars and wondering if there are other types of life out there.

Rocky

I got me a liver as good as any in the country!

Jim

Sorel wants to be an astronomer, Dad. Isn't that great?

Rocky

I'd like to see that Dr. Bosco, whatever his name, I'd like to see his kidneys! I bet they ain't any better than mine! Some things improve with age!

I wonder if there's life out on those stars like Mars.

Jim

Mars is a planet, not a star.

Rocky

My heart! My heart's been beating once a second for almost 70 years! You can't knock that!

[She points to flying sea gulls] Oh! Pelicans! Look, pelicans!

Jim

[Jim and Rocky look at each other bemusedly] Look, Dad! Pelicans!

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you

[Beeep] Jim, this is Cal from the Leave the Whales Alone club. Our protest cruise leaves from the pier Saturday 3pm; the whales need you, Jim!

Jim

Hello?

Rockford?

Jim Rockford

Yea.

We gotta to talk. I'll be parked under the bridge next to the highway at lights out in a hour. Come alone.

Jim Rockford

Where do you get that stuff, the Late Show? I'll see you at the Sand Castle in ten minutes.

Jim

[in the Paradise Cove men's room] You know what they used to call your uncle back then? Old 'come with the cash' Calloway.

[Chewing gum and trying a 'tough-guy' posture] Hey. I ain't afraid of you mister.

Jim

Now, what has that got to do with anything?

You go messin' our deal, here, I might have to [dramatic pause] grind up your sombrero.

Jim

[to C.C] He's a little short on smarts, isn't he?

Angel

Good idea, Jim, except I thought you oughta know that if you try to take off with my share of the treasure, I'll take old Joe here as a hostage.

Rocky

[shakes his cane at him] Now you just try and old Joe will stove your head in!

Angel

[trying to sound menacing] Hey, buckaroo, I don't let nobody outta my sight. This is the big one! This is the big score! I don't sleep. I sit on my blanket with my gun on my lap and I keep an eye on you all night long...

Jim

[unimpressed, he looks at Althea Morgan] Yeah, Treasure of the Sierra Madre. Humphrey Bogart, Walter Huston, Tim Holt; terrific ending. Almost everybody ate a bullet!

Angel

Sucker bets! Would I bring you sucker bets?

Jim

You'd bring me a dead rat in your teeth if you thought there was twenty bucks in it for you!

Rocky

You're gonna see a real princess... dressed like that?

Jim

Well sure Dad, I don't have much choice. My satin knee britches and barouche are still at the cleaners.

Jim

You said you wanted to see me, Dennis?

Jim

Did you call me in because of him? I'm in the middle of a murder investigation.

Dennis Becker

And I'm right in the middle of my night off. Your friend Mr. Martin here thought you might be able to shed some light on how he happens to be housing eight Shetland ponies in a residential garage.

Angel

Jimmy, they got everybody including the Humane Society on my case. It's a three-car garage, there's plenty of room, I even left a light on.

Jim

I don't have time for this, Angel. Kendall was almost killed tonight, Princess Rachevsky is on her way down here to the station.

Angel

You haven't got time for this? It's because of your princess and you I got into this mess.

Jim

No, no, Angel, you got yourself into it. You always do.

Angel

That's it? That's your statement on my behalf?

Jim

That's it.

Angel

Look, look, Dennis... uh, Lieutenant...

Dennis Becker

This is Robbery/Homicide. Let's move it down to Bunco.

Angel

Bunco? Why, because I'm unfamiliar with your zoning laws?

Dennis Becker

Because besides finding the eight ponies, we found a forged British passport and a letter of recommendation from Queen Elizabeth! Let's go, Duke!

Jim

If you don't know what holds the moon in space, then a lovesick fool is all you'll ever be.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

[Beeep and drunken men begin to sing] We're down at Hennessey's Bar, Jim, having a drink or two. You better get down here quick, Jim, or we'll come and sing up your flue! Ha ha ha...

You see, it's my thesis that the macho man of action cowboy-as-sex symbol is not only over but history. When you take Mick Jagger, Rod Stewart, even John Travolta, they've all proven that. It's my feeling that Tim Richie is the most sensual man of his time; the sexual bellwether and prototype of everything you're going to see as we leave the '70s behind us.

Jim

Yeah, really, yeah, yeah. My dad and I were gabbing about that just the other night.

And so, an unsettling day for Tim Richie. Pop legend, one-time gyrating lead vocalist for the now-defunct super group, The Suspects. Now an enduring solo rock powerhouse. A man who's been called everything from the primo white blues vocalist in the world to the original bad boy. Today, no smashing of amplifiers, no mascara and rouge. Today, only a man pondering the fifteen-million-dollar price tag of love.

Jim

[concerned, goes to the side of young man who has been shot in the foot during a struggle] Hey, Randy?

My shoe, man, what's wrong with it?

Jim

[gets up and walks away in disgust] Downers...!