Red Green quotes from The Red Green Show

Red

Let's say your wife is planning a fancy dinner--

Dalton Humphrey

KFC!

Red

This is what normal people drink.

Beer.

Red

Um, OK, but this has no taste to it.

American beer?

Harold

Mr. Dalton Humphrey, you have 30 seconds to get Uncle Red to say this word- [giggles nervously, too embarrassed to say the word himself, but does point to it on the card] and go!

Dalton Humphrey

[coughs and clears throat]

Red

Sex?

Red

The building you were in when you were married.

Motel 6.

Red

Younger than 20; older than 12.

Dalton Humphrey

Shoplifter?

Red

This is a family member, Mike; the man who slept with your mother.

Could you be a little more specific?

Red

If your wife had kids, you would be...?

Long gone.

Red

Aha! Just like your...?

Father.

Red

This is something you play at parties...

Spin the grenade!

Red

This is an animated character. Very wacky. Donald...

Dalton Humphrey

Trump?

Red

Why do you have such a negative attitude towards the festive season, Dalton?

Dalton

Gee, you should come by my house Christmas morning. Then yule see.