Harold quotes from The Red Green Show

Harold

I want to talk to old guys about telling stories that nobody wants to hear.

Harold

You know in Hollywood they actually have a system for telling stories.

Harold

Say for instance you have a movie idea, I got lots okay, but you know anyway.

Harold

A professional with a concise premise of one or two sentences, something like:

Harold

"A meteorologist and his ex-wife chase tornadoes around the Midwest; and a bunch of special effects happens."[He wiggles his fingers trying to help visualize the story, and then he giggles.]

Harold

Yeah, if people like that, and only if they like that, you can go on to tell the treatment.

Harold

And it's just like a little longer version with more details.

Harold

Then if they like that, you can go into the full-blown screenplay. That's it an entirely like two hours! [Harold giggles, making motions with his hands.]

Harold

See how they do that? You see, they a little bit of the story to see if people are interested.

Harold

You older guys... you might want to try that.

Harold

The next time you guys go to the mall, and you see a bunch of teenagers out there talking about something interesting like the new Alanis Morissette CD. [He gives everyone 2 thumbs up and with a high pitch voice and says] RULES!

Harold

Okay so, and you know it reminds you one of your [making quote marks with his hands to sarcastically emphasize]"Amusing stories".

Harold

Don't launch right in to the two hour version you know, see if you can get their attention like uh, you know.

Harold

"Uh, you uh know one time I uh had to change a tire in the rain, on my way to a wedding."

Harold

If you are met with cold stares, don't tell the story! Move on, pitch out another idea!

Harold

[He does his old man impression and says]"Duh (Did I) tell you kids about the time I stepped on a birthday cake? Duhuhuh (to emphasize a dumb old man)"