My name is Todd Packer, and I am in recovery. I'm working the steps. I'm on step eight of Alcoholics Anonymous, step nine of Narcotics Anonymous. I'm here to make amends. I've been hard to deal with over the past years. Kind of a jerk. I know it. I don't need you to accept my apology, but I'd love it if you did.
Packer, we accept.
[Everyone objects]
Actually, I have a specific way I need to do this, and I have to go through examples of stuff. Okay, uh, where to begin? Hey, Pam-Pam and her Pam-Pams. Well I have said some crude things about those. But they are beautiful, and I guess that's why I acted out. Pam, I'm sorry I objectified you and personified your breasts. Sorry guys. [to Phyllis] Oh, boy. I have not been nice to you. Phylly, I'm sorry for the things I said about your size. To your face, behind your back, and in the form of drawings. Actually, that goes to all you double XLs. Stanley, Kevin... [to Clark] This kid...in a few years.
Todd, you're just saying insults in the form of an apology.
Why can't I just be nice?
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