“Training” quotes from The Office (UK)

Gareth

All farmers have wives.

Tim

This one doesn't, he's gay.

Gareth

Well, then, he shouldn't be allowed near animals, should he?

Dawn

He proposed on a Valentine's Day, although he didn't do it face to face, he did it in one of the little Valentine bits in the paper. I think he had to pay for it by the word, because it just said "Lee love Dawn, marriage?" which you know, I like, because it's not often you get to something that's both romantic and thrifty.

Gareth, what's your ultimate fantasy?

Gareth

Two lesbians. Sisters, probably. I'm just watching.

Okay.. umm, Tim?

Tim

I never thought I'd say this, but can I hear more from Gareth please?

David

I'd like to make a complaint please.

Don't care.

David

Well, I am staying in the hotel..

Don't care, it's not my shift.

David

Well you're an ambassador for the hotel...

I don't care what you think..

David

I think you'll care when I tell you what the complaint is...

I don't care!

David

I think there's been a rape up there! See, I got his attention. Get. Their. Attention.