My proudest moment here wasn't when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No. It was a young Greek guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went "Mr. Brent, will you be the Godfather to my child?". Didn't happen in the end. We had to let him go, he was rubbish. He was rubbish!
“Downsize” · Season 1, Episode 1
In this episode: David Brent (3), Gareth Keenan (1)
I said, "If Head Office try and come here and interfere, they've got me to contend with, okay? You can go and fiddle with Neil's people, but I'm the head of this family. You're not going to fiddle with my children. I am, if anyone does."
[Gareth is describing his renovated car]'
I've got some photos... [opens drawer and recoils in shock] Oh, what is that!?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[To Tim] Right, that is it!
Slow down, you move too fast. Solomon's here. All part of the job. What's going on?
[taking out a plate of yellow jelly with a stapler in it] He's put my stapler inside a jelly again. That's the third time he's done that. It wasn't even funny the first time.
Why's he done that?
I told him once that I don't like jelly. I don't trust the way it moves.
Yeah, you show him a weakness, he pounces, you should know about that. Oh, what is in here?
It's my stapler.
[Gareth pulls the stapler out of the jelly]
Well don't do that! Eat it out! [To the camera] There's people starving in the world, which I hate. So, it's a waste. So... [To Gareth] How do you know it's yours?
'Cause it's got my name on it in tippex.
Yeah, don't eat it now. Chemicals.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Office (UK) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.