Funny, Funny, FUNNY!
Uh-Huh! Uh-Huh! I heard about them before, it's beginning. You're the two guys that I heard about that heckle from the box, huh? There they are ladies and gentlemen. Take a good look at them. Starski & Crutch. Now don't start with me boys, don't start...
Hey, Berle!
What?
You know what? I've just figured out your style.
Really?
You work like Gregory Peck.
Gregory Peck's not a comedian.
Well?
Now just a minute, please. I have been a successful comedian half of my life.
How come we got this half?
Look, did you two come in here to be entertained or not?
That's right.
What's right?
We came in here to be entertained, and we're not!
Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you come down here and be funny.
You first!
"Ha, ha, ha", the audience! "Ha, ha, ha"! Don't pay any attention to him, folks. He's the ninth child of a family of eight! Let me tell the story.
Hey, hey, Berle!
Ohhh... Yeah, what is it? What is it?
You know what you're doing wrong?
What'm I doing wrong?
You're standing too close to the audience.
Oh, yeah? [steps back] How is this?
You're still too close.
Oh, sorry. [steps back more] Is this okay?
No, a little more.
How far back do you want me to go?
You got a car?
Let me tell you something: If you don't stop, I'll have the usher throw you out!
He can't. He's too busy.
Doing what?
Keeping people in!
[to the audience] And you're encouraging them! That's what you're doing! [to Statler and Waldorf] You know, I got a good mind to punch you in your nose.
Please, not while I'm holding it.
That's very funny.
Ah, you can use it.
I don't need your material, pal. I got a million funny lines in the back of my head.
Yeah? How come they never reach your mouth?
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