“Waldorf & Statler” quotes from The Muppet Show

- You should know! You dated his sister!

- Boy, was she ugly.

- (Gonzo has performed a dangerous stunt and hurt himself)

- Maybe Gonzo should quit while he's ahead.

- Gonzo should quit while he's alive!

- That song had a nice beat.

- No thank you, I don't want to eat.

- I said beat! Why don't you turn up your hearing aid?

- There's going to be a raid? Let's get out of here!

- Hey, he just tried to drown us! What kind of act is that?

- An act of mercy!

- That's talent. An opera singer who tap-dances and sings cowboy songs. I wonder if there's anything she isn't good at.

- Yes. Choosing what show to be on.

- That was a great number, I don't care what you say.

- I thought it was dumb.

- Maybe you're right.

- [sings] You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...

- Why you old fool! I'm not your son and my name's not Shine!

- What's wrong with you?

- It's either this show or indigestion. I hope it's indigestion.

- Why?

- It'll get better in a little while.

- [throws a rubber ring] Here, catch!

- Waste of time. Nothing will save this show.

- It's too bad Gonzo's leaving this show.

- Yeah. I can think of some other people I'd rather see leave this show.

- Who?

- Me!

- What do you suppose they call that? A novelty act?

- Well, it wasn't too bad.

- Well, that's a novelty!

- So they blew up half the theater.

- At least they blew up the right half.

- (in unison) Theirs!

- I now realize television has one major advantage over a live stage show.

- What's that?

- A television you can turn off!

- You know, I love French singers.

- I love French fries.

- French fries? I don't get that.

- You didn't order any!

- You know, I'm really gonna enjoy tonight.

- You plan to like this show?

- No, I plan to watch television!

- Personally I don't care for puppets much. I don't find them believable.