The Mindy Project Season 1 quotes

Danny

Castellano men express their feelings through fighting or dancing. It's either the fist or the foot.

Hey, you want an omelette?

Mindy

OK, sure, thanks!

Well, I wish I'd known that before I started making pancakes.

Mindy

Oh, a trap! Great.

Child is like mule. It must be trained and broken.

I will raise your child like it was one of my own weasels.

Morgan

Do you smell weed Dr. L?

Mindy

I do.

Morgan

Yeah.

I love the way babies smell. [sniffs]

Morgan

I just got an Amber Alert on my phone.

Mindy

Get him outta here.

Mindy

Doing cocaine once doesn't make someone a cokehead. Don't jump to conclusions. I hit a bicyclist once with my car, does it make me a murderer? I have no idea, I drove off.

I only do coke to have fun after work. And to work.

Mindy

Why would you think it was OK to take a photo of my son in an anti-vaccination onesie?

But I thought you said you wanted him to be famous!

Mindy

Yeah, of course I do! But if you want him to model, you gotta go through his talent agent, who I don't have, because no one will accept us as a package. Also, he is vaccinated.

What?! Why? Vaccines are just toxins pumped into our children by Big Pharma!

Mindy

No! You know what Big Pharma did? They got rid of Big Mumps and Big Polio.

Yeah, but no one even gets those anymore!

Mindy

Because of vaccines!

I'm great with kids. My Uncle Randy got kicked in the head by a mule, he had the brain of an infant. Took care of him for years. Now he's a Mississippi state senator.