I know in the past, we've talked a lot about my fear of commitment. Uh, I don't know if this qualifies as a breakthrough or not, uh, but this week, I've decided to try online dating.
What is this?
It's a group therapy.
What? I don't need group therapy.
Shh!
Sam, do you have anything you'd like to share?
I had, uh, I had a setback this week. I shot my dry cleaner.
[shocked] Huh?!
Oh, it's just a water pistol, but I-I just kept a-shootin'. I couldn't stop. I just felt so angry.
Why were you angry?
They didn't get the stain out of my kerchief.
Do you think your anger might have been… misdirected?
Oh, wow. I hadn't thought of that. Well, I wasn't mad at him at all.
How do you think you're actually angry with?
It was those kids. I'm mad at all those kids who used to tease me on the playground! It's not my fault I had a mustache in 3rd grade. I just wanted to be like everybody else. [bursts into tears] No one gave me a chance!
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