Pete, Ruxin and others in “Unfinished Business”

Pete

I just look at all the players that are available, give them +1's or -1's for all their attributes, and it actually kind of works on women too.

Ruxin

How so?

Pete

Look, we all know, after the draft, there's not too much talent left on the free-agency market, right? The same thing is true for women after the age of 28 'cause all the good ones are basically taken.

Kevin

They're drafted to other people's teams.

Pete

And those who are left, myself included, have a ton of baggage. Maybe it's a bad hamstring, maybe she's got daddy issues, you know. This allows me to ferret it all out and make the right pick.

Andre

Wait a second, so you live your dating life like you're just choosing someone off the waiver wire?

Pete

Pretty much, yeah. I mean, look, here's an example. These three nice ladies over here. The one in the middle—she's beautiful. That gives her a +2. But look closely under her fingernails—there's some chalk. Means she's probably a teacher, has to get up early. That's a big -1 for me. Also, very expensive necklace—not affordable on a teacher's salary. That means she's probably taken. That gives her a -2, which means I've got to find another player to pick up.