Douglas Reynholm quotes from The IT Crowd

Douglas

Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?

Moss

[Mumbles, nods frenetically]

Douglas

[In same tone as before] Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?

Moss

[Nervously lifts a glass of water] Bit nervous, so, yeah, bit of water. [drinks the water, and spits it into his hand] Fizzy, it's very fizzy, it's fizzy, it's gone fizzy. [grabs the microphone and gets a shock] Yow! Come on! That's electric, there's electric in there, got a shock.

Douglas

[In same tone as before] Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?

Moss

It is not. Sorry, yeah, sorry, um, my mother sued me.

Just relax, take your time and answer the questions as clearly as you can.

Moss

Thank you, my love.

Douglas

[In same tone as before] Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?

Moss

[His chair collapses] The chair's faulty. [lifts the chair back up, but falls off it as he sits down]

Douglas

No further questions, my lord.

Douglas

What's your beef with the homeless?

Jen

I don't have any homeless beef.

Douglas

Ah, so it's women you hate! Well, that I can understand.

Roy

Wait, you record our emails and tape our phone calls?

Douglas

Alright, dry your eyes Bono. If you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear.

Douglas

What the hell were you thinking? I told you to keep a low profile and you do it again!

Jen

No, no, no, no, no, it's new footage, Mr Reynholm.

Douglas

Bum your excuses! Reynholm Industries has a reputation to uphold. We're not News International, for Christ's sake!