Oi, Neil, hear about Boy? He was messing about up the rec, got his head wedged in a bottle bank. When they found him the next morning, he’d been arse raped eighteen times.
Oh, mate, that’s grim!
I have a few questions.
Like what?
Well, firstly, what was he doing with his head wedged in a bottle bank?
Looking for bottles, you mug.
Okay. Secondly, the first 18 people to find him happened to be opportunistic homosexual rapists?
Obviously…oi, Neil, where was ya Dad last night?
Badminton, why?
(suspiciously) 'Course he was.
And finally, after what was, at best, a humiliating experience, would he, as the victim, tell anyone - let alone YOU - about it?!
I used to sit next to him in woodwork.
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