[voiceover] Back in the '80s, Philadelphia hosted one of the most legendary charity rock concerts ever assembled: Live Aid, and no one wanted to go more than Big Tasty.
Dad, we need to have an insanely important talk. And if you say, "Go to your mother," there will be serious consequences.
Not listening. Go to your mother.
Okay, you know how all the awesome stuff happens in New York and L.A. and Florida, but never here?
You do know the Philadelphia is the birthplace of our country, right?
Enough with your folk tales, old man! I'm talking about now. [He shows his dad a newspaper saying Live Aid.] It's called Live Aid. The world's biggest rock concert ever is happening here this weekend, and I need your car.
What's wrong with your van?
Doesn't start. I think it needs new spark plugs or gas or something. Point is, give me your keys and wallet. Hurry.
Here's the thing... No.
But I presented such a strong case!
This concert's been all over the news. There's gonna be a million morons pouring into the city, each one with bad hair and worse ideas.
But I have the worst ideas! I should be there, too.
No way I'm allowing my car to be driven in that madness. It'll never return.
Do you mean know who's performing at Live Aid?
I don't know, and more importantly, I don't care.
Rick Springfield, REO Speedwagon, the Hooters, Black Sabbath, RUN-D.M.C., Simple Minds, Judas Priest, Led Zeppelin, Bernard Watson, Joan Baez, Four Tops, Billy Ocean, Bryan Adams, Crosby, Stills & Nash, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Neil Young, Bob Dylan, George Thorogood & The Destroyers, most of the Rolling Stones, all of Hall & Oates, Madonna, Phil Collins, Duran Duran, Eddie Kendricks and David Ruffin, Patti LaBelle, The Cars, Kenny Loggins, Tom Petty, and The Heartbreakers, Santana, Pretenders, Ashford & Simpson...
Ashford & Simpson? I'm in!
Really?
No! None of these names mean anything to me!
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