Firecracker and Soldier Boy in “Unfinished Business”

Firecracker

It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.

[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip] Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.

Firecracker

Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.

Well, mine's a much longer barrel. [takes out his pistol] Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. [cocks pistol] That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.

Firecracker

I think you mean an antique.

I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? [Firecracker examines the pistol] Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.

Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.

Firecracker

I ain't got no idea who that is.

Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?

Firecracker

[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look] What?

I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?

Firecracker

[sighs] More like a mother.

But you two have fuckеd, right?

Firecracker

[shakes her head] Mm-mm.

Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.

Firecracker

That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.

Ah, he thinks he's better than me.

Firecracker

He doesn't.

How do you know?

Firecracker

I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.

Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.