[A-Train walks out on stage to present the next segment of Homelander's televised birthday special. He is wearing a completely new supersuit]
What the fuck is he wearing?!
Yeah, alright. Let's hear it for Supersonic, everybody.
Get me fucking wardrobe! Get me fucking wardrobe so I can fucking choke them out!
Alright, so now, I would like to bring out our co-captains. So let's give it up for Starlight and the man of the hour himself, Homelander! Happy birthday, Homelander.
Hey, thank you.
Yeah.
[muffled by the cheers while feigning his smile] I can see your girdle, you disgusting fat fuck! Get off the fucking stage!
Wow, I'm so honored to be with you guys tonight to celebrate my dear friend and mentor, Homelander. I'm here to do more than wish you a happy birthday, though. I'm thrilled to be announcing a project that is near and dear to my heart. The Starlight House is a nonprofit foundation dedicated to helping homeless and at-risk youth.
Hey, Homelander! Your Nazi died!
Did he just say his Nazi died?
[to audience heckler, grabbing him by shoulders] Let's go.
Homelander… He's just–He's a human. He's just like the rest of us. And we all make mistakes, right? But we all deserve second chances. In that spirit, Homelander has agreed to donate $10 million to the Starlight House, which is–I mean…
No!
Give–Come on. Give it up!
No!
Give it up for this guy!
No, no, no! Starlight lied to you just now. She did. I don't make mistakes! I'm not "just like the rest of you"! I'm stronger, I'm smarter, I… I'm better! I AM BETTER! I'm not some weak-kneed fucking crybaby that goes around fucking apologizing all the time! And why the fuck would you want me to be?!
Quick, Roger! Stop rolling, go to fucking commercial! Go to fucking commercial!
[pointing to an offscreen camera operator] Don't you DARE stop rolling, Roger! All my life, people have tried to control me my whole life. Rich people–powerful people–tried to muzzle me, cancel me, keep me impotent and obedient like I'm a fucking puppet! And you know what, it worked. Because I allowed it to work, and guess what? If they can control me, then you can bet your ass they can control you! They already do. You just don't realize it. [pause] I'm done. I am done apologizing, I am done being persecuted for my strength. You people should be thanking Christ that I am who and what I am, BECAUSE YOU NEED ME! YOU NEED ME TO SAVE YOU! You do. I am the only one who possibly can. You're not the real heroes. I'm the real hero. [beat] I am the real hero.
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