[Homelander arrives to save a woman named Chelsea from jumping off the edge of a building]
Hi, Chelsea. It's your lucky day. Well, considering you're my annual birthday save.
Don't come any closer.
Life is a precious gift. To throw yours away would be a real slap in the Lord's face, don't you think? You don't wanna go to Hell for all eternity, do you?
I'm Jewish.
Alright. Well, regardless, just step back from the ledge, please.
[Ashley is giving direction to the camera crew on the street below them]
Okay, that's good. Just don't be afraid of the zoom. You're not Roger Deakins. Mike, frame up. He could be flying down any second.
Yep. You got it.
[checks an alert on her phone and looks up] Oh, fuck!
Come on, look. I'm here now. If you jump, I'm just gonna fly down and save you anyway. It's all futile and...
[Homelander notices a breaking news story about Stormfront's suicide on a billboard]
She–She wouldn't… It's my... It's my birthday. She... [beat; to Chelsea] You probably don't know this–because, you know, Jew–but Jesus wasn't born on the 25th of December. That was piggybacked off a pagan festival, and guess what? Today is not my birthday either. Nope. Don't know when it is, but sure as hell ain't today. This was just chosen for me by a marketing department. I mean, I can't even have a birthday at all. I wasn't born. I was just poured out of a fucking test tube. Immaculate conception. I know exactly how he must have felt. Jesus. You give and you give… [stutters] You give your whole fucking life, and what happens? People just tear you down. Why do people destroy their gods? How is it fair that you get saved while a beautiful, perfect god gets killed? [beat] You know what, Chelsea? [pause] I think you should jump.
I–I don't think I want to.
You don't want to? Why don't you show a little follow-through, Chelsea? Jump.
Please, I... I just wanna get down.
I'm not suggesting anymore. Jump.
No. No, please. Oh, God… Oh, God!
No, no, no. No God. The only man in the sky is me. [his eyes light up]
How the fuck did she bite off her own tongue? Stormfront Million Dollar Babied herself. It was horrible.
[Chelsea leaps from the building and lands on the ground in a sickening splat. Homelander looks down disheartened.]
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