You know what. That was pretty crappy of you. All I wanted to do was give you a great night and it’s like you went out of your way to destroy it.
Yep. I know. I’m a total bitch.
I’m not saying that.
Well, I am.
Well. Fine you win. You’re a bitch. Why couldn't we just have a nice time?
I don’t know. Maybe because things are going so well between us lately and I’ve been really happy.
Okay. You’re going to have to make a lot more sense than that.
Obviously I have some commitment issues.
Glaringly obvious. Go on.
As long as things keep going great between us, you’ll keep asking me to marry you and eventually I’m going to end saying yes then we’re going to be married forever and the whole thing just freaks me out.
Okay. I know I propose a lot so how about this. I promise I will never ask you to marry me again.
What? What do you mean? Are you breaking up with me?
No. No, no, no, no, no. But if someday you decide to you want to get married, you have to propose to me.
Really?
Yes. All on you. But I got to tell you when the time comes I want the whole nine yards. I want you down on one knee, flowers, I want to be swept off my feet.
You got it.
And I’m cool with surprises, but nothing on the jumbo-tron. I don’t to cry on a big screen like that.
Okay. You know what, this might be the wine talking, but I have a very important question to ask you.
You do?
Leonard Hofstader.
Yes.
Would you be my valentine?
Sorry, maybe next year. I’m just kidding. Romance ninja! Let’s have sex! Wo-ah!
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