Vana, I don't know why you're laughing because it's just not funny! It was chaos, it was unorganized, it was unfriendly at times. It was a shambles!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
(to Joseph) I suppose you, Valentino, would go after the mirror. You probably spent half your time looking in it.
JVJoseph Valente
(at the end of a negotiation) One hundred euro for seven.
(He holds his fingers up to mime "seven" but actually ends up miming "eight")
Vana, it's hard for me to justify how you can remain in the process, because of the failure of this task. But, Jenny, I'm yet to see any actual achievements, anything one can pin down to you and say, "well, actually, that was very, very good." So, I'm having less of a problem here. Jenny, you're fired!
Jenny Garbis: Okay. Well, I really appreciate the opportunity, I'm very disappointed not to have been able to show you what I'm really capable of, Lord Sugar, because I do think I have the capability to win this process. Many of the other candidates in the house said they were worried I was going to be in the final with them. I'm really sorry I haven't been able to show you that, but good luck, guys. Thank you.
Alan, I'd be worried about going into business with Ruth.
Claude Littner: But which would you rather have, Karren? Someone who's very enthusiastic or someone who just doesn't seem to care that much?
Karren Brady: Well, I'd have neither, actually Claude.
DSDavid Stevenson
(on the T-Shirts) You can wear them with almost, anything!
[On the phone to Charleine] Would you like me to pass you over to David?
It's like giving birth to a child and someone offering you £2 for it. I mean I've never given birth before so...selling your baby for £2. God! What a heartless mother I am.
(to Elle Stevenson) You are, a genuine princess.
(to Mergim before firing him) It is a difficult one. Look, Mergim I'm going to say this to you: I don't think you have the potential, at this moment in time, of being my business partner, I really don't. But carry on with your dreams okay? It is with sincere regret Mergim, that you're fired.
Mergim Butaja: Thanks a lot for the opportunity guys. Thank you.
(Mergim gets up and starts to leave)
Lord Sugar: (as Mergim goes out the door) And we'll stay in touch.
Mergim Butaja: (turns round to face Lord Sugar one last time.) Thank you Lord Sugar.
(Mergim turns and goes out the door)
JVJoseph Valente
No stopping, no messing around, no toilet breaks, just hitting it! Solid, yeah?
DSDavid Stevenson
(After Lord Sugar fires Elle, Mergim and April and he is back at the house) I've never seen something so brutal in my life!
Joseph, the second we get in that theater I am no longer the project manager, you are that project manager!
(to Elle minutes before firing her) In your day job, you organize the construction of basements. Well in this particular task, you've dug yourself a very, very big hole. You're Fired!
(after listening to a football manager telling them what they have to do if they secure a contract) Question: If we get this contract, do we have to do it?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Apprentice pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.