Viscoelastic foam? What a load of bollocks. What a pile of tat that is there, honestly. A lump of bloody foam for a hundred and fifty-four pounds. I'll tell you what son, you sell any of them, you're a bloody good salesman, that's all I can say. (about James and Saira's airbed choice, which then went on to sell extremely well)
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
(The beginning of the very first interviews and the introduction of the interviewers)
Sir Alan Sugar: You may be wondering what we're going to get up to today and you may also be wondering about some of these new faces that you see here. Now what's going to happen here is, is that you lot are going to go through a grueling interview. And at the end of the interview session, they're going to sit down with me and they're going to give me their opinion about whether any of you are worthy of working for me. Nick and Margaret are very well known to you.
(the camera focuses on Sir Alan's troubleshooter Claude Littner who stands in the middle.)
Now Claude, he's actually been in Denmark for me, he's been in Paris, he actually ran Tottenham Hotspur for quite a while, that's why he's lost a bit of hair.
(Claude smiles vaguely. On Claude's right is Bordan Tkachuk)
Bordan has been in Australia, he's been in Italy and currently runs our computer organization at Viglen.
(The camera focuses finally on Paul Kemsley)
Now Paul doesn't actually work for me but he's associated with me, okay? He's a very successful businessman in his own right. And he's here to give me a view from a younger perspective.
FBFlashback Bordan Tkachuk
Well, you tell me. It's called The Apprentice.
Flashback Paul Torrisi: Yes, we've come here to be apprentices to Sir Alan...
Flashback Bordan Tkachuk: Mm-hm?
Flashback Paul Torrisi: But by that same token, I think he wants someone with some experience.
(back in the boardroom)
Bordan Tkachuk: I think he got confused, I don't think he knows he's here to be an apprentice. I think he's here, in fact, to be your troubleshooter. To put all your wrongs and ills to right.
Sir Alan Sugar: Trouble maker, maybe.
Yes, I am Italian. I do have a temper...
Margaret Mountford: That's not an excuse for having a temper.
(The first firing)
Sir Alan Sugar: James, you haven't convinced me. I don't think you're a long term player for me to be perfectly honest, that's my... that's my only reason. I think you've been excellent, very professional. I'm letting you go, You're Fired.
(The second firing)
Sir Alan Sugar: Well if we're different then Paul,then maybe you've just answered it for me. Because I can't afford to gamble on you Paul. As experienced as I am, I've got to listen to what other people are saying to me, and there's too many vibes coming through to me that say Paul, I'm gonna have to let you go. You're Fired.
(Slight pause)
Paul Torrisi: Do you know? Before I came here, I didn't know a single person that had a bad word to say about me and I've taken nothing but criticism in the whole time that I've been here. Why is that? That I don't know anyone with a bad word to say about me, yet here I haven't got a single person to say a good word about me. Apart from the people that I've lived in the house with.
Sir Alan Sugar: Why's that a good question?
(Paul struggles to answer)
Well go away and think about it.
Paul Torrisi: Well, I've got nothing better to do now, have I?
And what's my body language telling you?
Saira Khan: Well, I would say that you're not very convinced by me...
Paul Kemsley: No, you're right. I'm not completely convinced.
I grew up in the East End, and have had to work for everything, no handouts... (whenever he found himself in the firing line)
I've got your card marked. (to Syed)
Ben, name them. Two people that are coming back into this boardroom with you because one of you is gonna get fired.
Ben Stanberry: Well, I'm very disappointed by the lack of loyalty, they didn't stand up to be counted; to be a leader, they put me out there. I took up the challenge...
Sir Alan Sugar: I didn't ask you that question, I'm not looking for a lecture. Name the two people you'd think that didn't perform in this task, 'cause one of you is gonna get fired.
Ben Stanberry: Samuel and Syed.
Tuan, you're being very quiet and it don't rub off on me just sitting back and letting everyone hang themselves. If anyone's going to be fired amongst you gentlemen today, who would you pick?
Tuan Le: (instantly) Ben.
Sir Alan Sugar: (somewhat surprised) You would?
Tuan Le: Yes.
NANargis Ara
Did you know that there are six million cat owners in the UK alone? (the opening line to all her pitches)
NANargis Ara
Ask me any questions.
Virgin Megastores buyer: What sort of retail price are...
Nargis Ara: (interrupting) I haven't finished speaking!
MSMani Sandher
You don't have a clue what we're doing, do you? You don't have a clue what we're doing!
Syed Ahmed: Well, why don't you explain it then...
Mani Sandher: I can't be bothered to explain it to you, 'cause it'll take all day!
(After the Harrods pitch and moving on to the Virgin pitch) We got annihilated! I still don't know what the retail price is!
Paul Tulip: I can't believe they were asking us, "What do you think we should put the retail price on?" Eh?!
Syed Ahmed: Thirty six hours!
Paul Tulip: Thirty six hours you're meant to be doing that sort of thing!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Apprentice pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.