Did they really think I grew up in a house where giant frogs roam free in the hall? "Yeah, we just had those suckers hoppin' all around, all the time! Mr. Frog House!" I've never had to collect 35 pets, drop them down a laundry chute, and into a bank vault! Are you fucking kidding me?! What kind of asshole does this game think I am?! I can't believe they'd get away with this... I mean... you go to the store and... you see your face on a cartridge, and go like "I wanna play with myself, all day long!"Every kid deserves a video game based on themselves, am I right? But no. No, they shat on me! They shat on my legacy! (begins crying) What am I gonna do?!
Wait a minute... You're not a real pizza boy! (rips of name tag) You're... M-- M-- Maculkin! I'm playin' Home Alone games... ...with Macaulay Culkin!!! (screams a la Kevin)
Really? Really... Never seen that before. That's-- that's new. Can we just get back to the fucking games?
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