Why are you pointing the gun at me, David? I'm trying to help you!
I know, it's weird..
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Sho's a real turkey, right here.
I am not a turkey, David.
I'm just-
I AM NOT A TURKEY!
Michael, it was just a joke.
[crying] It didn't seem very funny..
What are we going to do?
Call Marcus!
Yeah, call Marcus.
Who's Marcus?
I don't know.
I know I can hunt but can Mike hunt? And Mike hunt?
MMMountain Man
Of course.
No, no, no. But you say it.
MMMountain Man
Mike hunt. What are you guys laughing at? All I said was "Mike hunt." Now what's so funny about Mike hunt?
I'm cold.
I'm hungry.
I'm David. [Makes fart sound]
I don't think I'm overstating anything when I say that I'm really mad at Jane Burroughs.
We can just make another copy.
Oh, no you don't. You start doing that, the next thing you know you got Chinese bootleggers selling these things on the streets of Chow Ming for a nickel and a corn dog.
That's what I was about to say.
What's the first thing you see when you open a book?
The inscription.
Yes! How about "To Marcus"?
Yeah, yeah. "To Marcus."
Who's Marcus? Guys, who the hell is Marcus?
I know, I don't know.
You'll never get away with this Jane. What happens when we tell everyone what you've done?
JJane
Do not make me laugh. I am Jane Burroughs, the darling of the literary establishment. And who are you? Three buffoons.
Oh yeah? Well this balloon is going to kick your ass, right now.
JJane
David?
Yes, Jane?
JJane
Please, call me Jane.
Stupid question but, what is a book?
JJane
Oh my gosh, it's a baby deer!
What? Where?
[The guys turn around while Jane runs away]
Hey, you guys, she's gone.
There was no baby deer.
Do you mean the entire time she was talking about the baby deer, she was lying?
Yes. I'm afraid so.
She's brilliant.
I'm gonna look one more time for that baby deer.
Michael!
I just threw..our novel in the fireplace and that was wrong of me and I'll be the first person to admit it..
I didn't even know we had a fireplace.
Do I have wood? Yeah. I've got so much wood I should be a forest right now.
Only three things in this world are green Stacy. Plants, money, and jealousy. We're doing pretty well on the first two, but it seems like you got the market cornered on the third one.
JJennifer
Oh yeah? What about frogs huh? Frogs are green.
Michael Showalter; Not brown frogs. They're not green.
Out of our way girls. It's asparagus season.
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