Michael Ian Black quotes from Stella

Michael Ian Black

Do it, do it, do it auld maid!

Hey here's a compromise, instead of listening to funkROCK, why don't we listen to FUNKrock.

Michael Ian Black

I take my coffee the same way I take my women: Strong. Black. And proud.

Michael Ian Black

Nothing, I, uh, thought I saw a potato..

Michael Ian Black

I'm gonna go rub one out and call it a night.

Michael Ian Black

I don't think I'm overstating anything when I say that I'm really mad at Jane Burroughs.

Michael Ian Black

Do I have wood? Yeah. I've got so much wood I should be a forest right now.

So the unit has 3,000 sq. feet, three beds, three baths, and a nursery.

David

Oh, well, we wouldn't be needing a nursery.

Michael Ian Black

Actually Michael might, because he's kind of a cry baby.

Michael

I am not a cry baby!

Michael Ian Black

Then why are you about to cry?

Michael

Michael, can we please discuss this out on the terrace?

David Wain

How's the soup, Mike?

Michael Ian Black

It's good.

David Wain

Yeah, you won't be saying that after I kill you.

Michael Ian Black

America is the greatest country in the world. Think of all the great things that have come from America...

Michael Showalter

Rugby.

David Wain

Chicken tikka masala.

Michael Ian Black

Chinese people.

Michael Showalter

ASS!

David Wain

[in a British accent] Harry Potter.

Michael Ian Black

Rubber balls and liquor.

Michael Showalter

Then I say something.

Michael Showalter

Today's global economy waits for no man.

Michael Ian Black

Interconnectivity... Synergy...

Michael Showalter

Synchronicity... Zenyatta Mondatta...

Michael Ian Black

The Dream of the Blue Turtles...

Michael Showalter

Simon and Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits.

Michael Ian Black

How did you get past security without a boarding pass?

David Wain

I know, it's weird.

Michael Ian Black

What are we going to do?

David

Call Marcus!

Michael Ian Black

Yeah, call Marcus.

Michael Showalter

Who's Marcus?

Michael Ian Black

I don't know.

Michael Showalter

I'm cold.

Michael Ian Black

I'm hungry.

David

I'm David. [Makes fart sound]

David

We can just make another copy.

Michael Ian Black

Oh, no you don't. You start doing that, the next thing you know you got Chinese bootleggers selling these things on the streets of Chow Ming for a nickel and a corn dog.

Michael Showalter

That's what I was about to say.