Michael Showalter quotes from Stella

Michael Showalter

No, no. It ain't goin' down like that, ese.

Michael Ian Black

America is the greatest country in the world. Think of all the great things that have come from America...

Michael Showalter

Rugby.

David Wain

Chicken tikka masala.

Michael Ian Black

Chinese people.

Michael Showalter

ASS!

David Wain

[in a British accent] Harry Potter.

Michael Ian Black

Rubber balls and liquor.

Michael Showalter

Then I say something.

Michael Showalter

Today's global economy waits for no man.

Michael Ian Black

Interconnectivity... Synergy...

Michael Showalter

Synchronicity... Zenyatta Mondatta...

Michael Ian Black

The Dream of the Blue Turtles...

Michael Showalter

Simon and Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits.

[talking to Richard] But somebody once told me that sometimes you have to know when to move on.

Michael Showalter

It was me. I told you.

Michael Showalter

I like your tat.

Thanks, I did it myself.

Michael Showalter

Really?

I like pain.

Michael Showalter

I like cookies.

Michael Showalter

Why are you pointing the gun at me, David? I'm trying to help you!

David

I know, it's weird..

David

Sho's a real turkey, right here.

Michael Showalter

I am not a turkey, David.

David

I'm just-

Michael Showalter

I AM NOT A TURKEY!

David

Michael, it was just a joke.

Michael Showalter

[crying] It didn't seem very funny..

Michael Ian Black

What are we going to do?

David

Call Marcus!

Michael Ian Black

Yeah, call Marcus.

Michael Showalter

Who's Marcus?

Michael Ian Black

I don't know.

Michael Showalter

I'm cold.

Michael Ian Black

I'm hungry.

David

I'm David. [Makes fart sound]

David

We can just make another copy.

Michael Ian Black

Oh, no you don't. You start doing that, the next thing you know you got Chinese bootleggers selling these things on the streets of Chow Ming for a nickel and a corn dog.

Michael Showalter

That's what I was about to say.

David

What's the first thing you see when you open a book?

Michael Showalter

The inscription.

David

Yes! How about "To Marcus"?

Michael Ian Black

Yeah, yeah. "To Marcus."

Michael Showalter

Who's Marcus? Guys, who the hell is Marcus?

Michael Ian Black

I know, I don't know.

Michael Ian Black

You'll never get away with this Jane. What happens when we tell everyone what you've done?

Do not make me laugh. I am Jane Burroughs, the darling of the literary establishment. And who are you? Three buffoons.

Michael Showalter

Oh yeah? Well this balloon is going to kick your ass, right now.

Oh my gosh, it's a baby deer!

David Wain

What? Where?

David Wain

Hey, you guys, she's gone.

Michael Showalter

There was no baby deer.

Michael Ian Black

Do you mean the entire time she was talking about the baby deer, she was lying?

Michael Showalter

Yes. I'm afraid so.

David Wain

She's brilliant.

Michael Ian Black

I'm gonna look one more time for that baby deer.

David

Michael!

Michael Showalter

I just threw..our novel in the fireplace and that was wrong of me and I'll be the first person to admit it..

Michael Ian Black

I didn't even know we had a fireplace.

Michael Showalter

Only three things in this world are green Stacy. Plants, money, and jealousy. We're doing pretty well on the first two, but it seems like you got the market cornered on the third one.

Oh yeah? What about frogs huh? Frogs are green.

Michael Ian Black

Out of our way girls. It's asparagus season.