Do it, do it, do it auld maid!
All S1
Characters
Michael Ian BlackMichael Ian Black · 23 quotes
David WainDavid Wain · 20 quotes
Michael ShowalterMichael Showalter · 18 quotes
JJane3 quotes
Most scenes together: Michael Ian Black & David Wain (12), Michael Ian Black & Michael Showalter (12), David Wain & Michael Showalter (11)
S1 E15Unfinished Business
LGLibby Green
David, do you know my husband, Edward Norton?
Not personally, but I'm a fan!
MIMicheal Ian Black
Hey here's a compromise, instead of listening to funkROCK, why don't we listen to FUNKrock.
LLibby
So the unit has 3,000 sq. feet, three beds, three baths, and a nursery.
Oh, well, we wouldn't be needing a nursery.
Actually Michael might, because he's kind of a cry baby.
I am not a cry baby!
Then why are you about to cry?
Michael, can we please discuss this out on the terrace?
How's the soup, Mike?
It's good.
Yeah, you won't be saying that after I kill you.
America is the greatest country in the world. Think of all the great things that have come from America...
Rugby.
Chicken tikka masala.
Chinese people.
ASS!
[in a British accent] Harry Potter.
Rubber balls and liquor.
Then I say something.
I take my coffee the same way I take my women: Strong. Black. And proud.
Today's global economy waits for no man.
Interconnectivity... Synergy...
Synchronicity... Zenyatta Mondatta...
The Dream of the Blue Turtles...
Simon and Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits.
JJulie
[talking to Richard] But somebody once told me that sometimes you have to know when to move on.
It was me. I told you.
Nothing, I, uh, thought I saw a potato..
No, no. It ain't goin' down like that, ese.
How did you get past security without a boarding pass?
I know, it's weird.
You remind me of fast food.
WWoman
[giggling] Oh, why's that?
Cause I wanna take you out.
WWoman
[flattered, giggling] Oh, haha.
..And then I wanna eat you in my car.
I'm gonna go rub one out and call it a night.
I like your tat.
JJemma
Thanks, I did it myself.
Really?
JJemma
I like pain.
I like cookies.
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