Michael Ian Black quotes from Stella

David

What's the first thing you see when you open a book?

Michael Showalter

The inscription.

David

Yes! How about "To Marcus"?

Michael Ian Black

Yeah, yeah. "To Marcus."

Michael Showalter

Who's Marcus? Guys, who the hell is Marcus?

Michael Ian Black

I know, I don't know.

Michael Ian Black

You'll never get away with this Jane. What happens when we tell everyone what you've done?

Do not make me laugh. I am Jane Burroughs, the darling of the literary establishment. And who are you? Three buffoons.

Michael Showalter

Oh yeah? Well this balloon is going to kick your ass, right now.

Oh my gosh, it's a baby deer!

David Wain

What? Where?

David Wain

Hey, you guys, she's gone.

Michael Showalter

There was no baby deer.

Michael Ian Black

Do you mean the entire time she was talking about the baby deer, she was lying?

Michael Showalter

Yes. I'm afraid so.

David Wain

She's brilliant.

Michael Ian Black

I'm gonna look one more time for that baby deer.

David

Michael!

Michael Showalter

I just threw..our novel in the fireplace and that was wrong of me and I'll be the first person to admit it..

Michael Ian Black

I didn't even know we had a fireplace.

Michael Showalter

Only three things in this world are green Stacy. Plants, money, and jealousy. We're doing pretty well on the first two, but it seems like you got the market cornered on the third one.

Oh yeah? What about frogs huh? Frogs are green.

Michael Ian Black

Out of our way girls. It's asparagus season.

Michael Showalter

Hey, you guys, look! A shooting star. Make a wish.

Michael Ian Black

I wish we had our apartment back.

Michael Showalter

I wish we had our apartment back.

David Wain

I wish I was dry-humping Maggie.

CANDY!

Michael Ian Black

Son of a bitch, get off the candy!

Michael Showalter

David went to Juliard, Michael. He's a classical violinist!

David

And I'm a classical pianist!

Michael Ian Black

You're a classical dick, is what you are!