TV show quotes
ooh this looks scary!
(impersonating Mrs. Coleman, their study hall teacher) Mr Hawkins you're four minutes late...!
(still impersonating Mrs. Coleman) ... And you, one weeks detention, care to try for two...
...and you boys! (sees it's Nick Conner's two lackies) you..., you..., (tosses mask aside, suddenly not in the mood to make fun,) eh!
I'm afraid he's gonna hurt somebody.
He'd never do that. He doesn't mean it. (closes Jimmy's laptop)
Your son's depressed, Mr. Osgood. (opens the curtains) I work with kids and I can tell you, you can't dismiss this. He needs help.
Pops, Jimmy told me he knew where he could get a gun.
My gun's locked up, I have the key. (gets the keys out of his pocket, then notices one of them missing) Oh my god...
[The trio rush into Mr. Osgood's bedroom where Mr. Osgood opens the drawer where his gun is stored]
It's gone! The gun's gone!
What were you thinking having a handgun in the house where a kid could get to it!?
But I didn't know... Jimmy would even think of...
Pops! Those kids who were hassling Jimmy! They might be down at the community center!
I gotta get down there! Call the police! Have them send a car down there now!
[Robert rushes to his car as Mr. Osgood begins to call the police]
[Inside Poison Ivy's and Harley Quinn's hideout.)
Lemme get this straight, you were the one posting online as 'Ceres'?
That's right: the goddess of the Harvest, (throws Nails an orange) and my associate, Thelia, muse of Comedy.
(throws a kiss with both hands after she's named in jest, before getting serious) We couldn't call ourselves Harley and Ivy on account of they'd bust us again. Ain't it sad? (draws a fake tear)
Forget it. I didn't come all the way to Gotham to hook-up with a couple of crooks. I'm outta here. (turns to leave)
And where will you go, Allie?
[Harley puts on a shocked/scared face on at Ivy's remark. Allie/Nails turns around, reminded of the reason why she had come to Gotham.]
I remember the E-mails we traded, all the fear in your letters, the desperation.
(walking over to Nails and putting an arm around her shoulder) No-one should go through that alone, girlfriend.
We may be, as you said, crooks now, but once we were doctors, and I'm still a brillent chemist.
...And as a therapist, (starts cartwheeling around Nails,) I've been helping victims deal with their afflictions--laughter is the best medicine, you know. (pops up behind Nails, shaking a rattle toy,) Hee hee hee.
(raises her hands up threateningly, her elongated, extra sharp nails into Harley's immediate line-of-sight) This isn't funny!
(intimidated) Did I say 'laughter', (hides rattle behind her back,) I meant penicillin.
The fact is, we can help you, my dear, (turns to her workbench and picks up a sealed vial from a stand,) I've issolated a cure for the Bang-Baby Syndrome. It worked on others and it can work on you. That's what you've come for... right.
Yes.
[Nails reaches for the vial, but with a flick of her wrist, Poison Ivy throws it to Harley Quinn, who catches it between her teeth, keeping it from Nails.]
Unfortuneatly, it is rather a expensive formula. I'm afraid your gonna have to earn it.
(lowers her head, desperate to be normal) I'm down for anything.
Now thats your first step to recovery.
Okay, I stopped the ship, and Harley stopped the crew, it's time for our little Nails to do the rest.
Where'd he go?
The kid's got style.
(After failing to find Ebon escaping through the sewer) Whoa! Man! I guess when you become a living shadow, the nose is the first thing to go!
(sees Richie rapidly scribbling schematics in his notebook) Richie.
Uh-huh?
What you workin' on?
(speaking rapidly) Well, I was fixing my roller blades last night, while watching the military channel special on harrier jets, you know, the ones that can make vertical take-offs and landings and I was thinking, wouldn't it be super-cool to integrate that technology into my skates?
...Oookay...
Now, the first step in solving this... (he sees Richie engrossed in his notebook) Mr. Foley? ... Mr. Foley? [Richie still reads through his notebook] MR. FOLEY?
(finally looks up) Huh?
(points at the equation) The problem?
(Richie adjusts his glasses and takes a glance at the ten-line-long equation of mathematical gibberish for five seconds and...) Four over pi.
Perhaps, Mr. Foley, if you had been paying atten- (realizing) What?
The answer. Four over pi.
Y-yes, but ... how did you know?
[Everyone in the classroom stare at Richie in shock and amazement, making him feel nervous.]
(ducks behind his desk) Lucky guess?
(after stopping the jet blade from colliding into Richie's face) Richie, this is too much.
You're right. The rear boosters must be overpowered.
No man, not the skates! YOU!
What do you mean?
The robot, the Zap-Caps, all this stuff! I mean, all of a sudden you're Brainiac the Maniac!
So I'm a little smarter than most people. What's the big deal?
A little? The Department of Defense couldn't think up most of this stuff!
Well they don't have to! I already thought it up for them!
Focus, Richie. Remember when you said your head felt like it was on fire? Maybe you were right, 'cause something's really cooking up there.
(ponders slowly at first) I do feel different lately; I think faster, a lot faster. (starts to speed up) Sometimes I can't stop thinking. Sometimes it's like my thoughts are thinking thoughts! See, I just thought that! (starts panicking) It's like ideas are exploding in my head! Does it look bigger? It does, doesn't it? Cranial perimeters definitely expanding. Oooh no!
You look fine.
Fine?! I'm having some kind of strain-on-the-brain breakdown!! I could be going crazy, I...
(grabs Richie) Rich, you know what I think? I think maybe you're becoming a Bang Baby.
That doesn't make any sense. Why am I changing now?
I don't know. Late boomer, maybe? I mean, other bangers had delyaed reactions.
But I wasn't even at the Big Bang.
Yeah, but you were with me right after I got gassed, and my clothes reeked of the stuff. Maybe that's how you got infected and it's been dormant in you all this time. What do you think?
It's as good a theory as we got right now.
Yo, bro. What's that? Plans for a particle accelerator?
(sighs) Yeah.
I was kidding. Hey, man, why so down? Isn't it fun being a super brain?
I guess. It's just ... How come I couldn't get a cool power like, super strength or laser vision?
Laser vision?
How am I supposed to fight super villains? Think them into submission? All I can be is your mega mechanic...
(admires himself in the mirror in his new uniform) Well? What do ya think?
(holding his face) I think you spend too much time in front of the mirror than my sister does! And it's starting to worry me.
I still gotta come up with a superhero handle. How about, Hardware?
I think somebody's using it.
Steel?
[Static rolls his eyes]
Well, it's got to say something about all this gear I got!
Gear... how about that?
Gear. Perfect-a-mundo!
I suggest we stand on tradition, Oseba, you know well the ancient stories--the Spider always captures the Leopard.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Static Shock pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
