[Sheppard and McKay are in McKay's dream, rowing towards Atlantis]
You know? This really isn't as strange as you made me believe.
Oh yeah? What about that?!
[McKay points to a clown that appeared behind them]
...I hate clowns.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Have you had any nightmares lately?
RRodney
Not a night goes by. Last night I dreamt that Colonel Carter invited me to her quarters for dinner.
Maybe you shouldn’t be telling us this, Rodney.
Yeah, I said nightmare, not delusional male fantasy.
RRodney
Wait and listen. Turns out she was serving lemon chicken. I mean, lemon, and the only reason she invited me to dinner was to tell me she was promoting Zelenka over me.
RRonan
That’s it?
RRodney
Then I was eaten by a whale. Don’t ask how that happened.
[Two Travelers want Sheppard to fly the ship forward]
Sure about that?
TSTravelers Scientist
That's why we're here. You fly the ship and I record the inputs, so I can replicate them.
Okay, but...
TGTravelers Guard
Enough. [draws his gun] Fly the damn ship.
Right. I was just gonna say: "You said 'start by moving the ship forward' when you should've said 'start by initializing the inertial dampeners'."
[Sheppard moves forward without the dampeners, knocking out the guards as they hit the door]
[Larrin walks into Sheppard's cell]
What's going on?
[Larrin punches him]
Ow! What was that for?
[Larrin punches him again]
Stop that!
I'll stop, if you'll stop lying! You broadcasted a signal, didn't you?
Yes.
[Larrin punches him again]
You said you'd stop!
Sure you wanna go through with this? If you don't make it, I'll feel responsible and, well I really don't need the guilt.
I'll be fine as long as you don't shoot too early. I'm sure that's not the first time you've heard that from a woman.
On the other hand, I might be able to live with it!
[A Wraith is about to feed on Larrin, when he notices Sheppard pointing a gun to his head.]
I can see you just fed, which means that your regenerating abilities are at maximum. But I seriously doubt you can grow a new head.
No, there's something you're not telling us - she was hot, wasn't she?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Aw, I knew it. That is so typical.
She had me beat Rodney! She threatened to kill me several times. It wasn't like we were hanging out in the spa together.
Whatever. All that I know is that every time I get taken captive, it's the Wraith. Just once, I would like to be taken prisoner by the sexy alien.
Well, you may still have a chance.
What do you mean?
She's still out there...
[Teyla rolls her eyes]
Dr Brown. I see you've brought my number one patient.
What? Oh, no, we're not here for me this time.
It started suddenly, and then it just stopped.
Okay, well, I appreciate you telling me.
Aren't you gonna do anything?
To be honest, I don't see how it's relevant.
Well, it's a new symptom. I thought it just might be important.
I don't see how a tingling sensation in your knees relates to this condition, especially since you're the only one experiencing it.
You showing any signs?
Headache.
Yeah, same here.
Five bucks says you start losing your memories first.
Rodney!
[Rodney is starting to forget things]
Teyla [to Dr. McKay]: What is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter?
Well, that's pi, it's 3.14159265 etc, etc... Oh, t-that doesn't count, that's easy.
You are a scientist, Rodney, that is what you care about, that is what you will hang on to the longest.
Right, right, so... [pause] Wait a minute, doesn't that make me a really bad person?
It makes you the type of person who is going to save all our lives.
[Everyone in Atlantis has lost their memory, apart from Teyla and Ronon. Ronon tells Lorne to take out a polaroid from his vest pocket, upon which is written "Colonel John Sheppard. He is your commanding officer. Trust him!"]
That's right, I'm your Commanding officer, so you should do what I say.
Yes, sir. What are our orders?
[Sheppard, confused for a moment, turns to Ronon]
Do what he says.
Ibuprofen. Helps with the pain and swelling.
Yes, Dr. McKay uses them frequently, along with antihistamines, antacids, motion-sickness pills…
You forgot the prescription I wrote him for restless leg syndrome.
[Teyla has caught a squid-looking creature for dinner]
The taste leaves much to be desired but it will sustain you.
[grimacing] Oh, no thanks. I'm not hungry.
You should eat.
[to herself] This was my least favourite part of 'Survivor'.
[About the Bola Kai] Don't worry. They're primitive. We can handle them.
Define 'primitive'.
Clubs and arrows.
Hey, arrows can hurt!
Only if you're stupid enough to get hit in the ass with one.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate Atlantis pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.