Stargate Atlantis Season 1 quotes

What the hell is going on?

What do you mean?

What do I mean. We leave for two hours, and Lucius turned you all into Stepford wives.

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[McKay and Lt.Col Sheppard are in McKay’s lab trying to determine why everyone in Atlantis is besotted with Lucius Lavin. Sheppard looks like he has been pacing angrily while McKay has been working on a laptop at a lab-bench]

[While he's talking Sheppard moves to sit beside McKay] This is creeping me out.

[McKay has been hunched over his laptop typing busily] Yeah… reminds me of an old Batman episode actually. Catwoman used a drug to put a spell on Batman...make him fall in love with her. Ended up doing all sorts of evil things for her. [Rodney sits upright] It was kind of a turn on actually…it’s Julie Newmar in the cat outfit…

[Sheppard is reading McKay's laptop screen, he absently interrupts McKay ] Eartha Kitt was Catwoman.

Not 'till season three.

[surprised] Really?

Yeah, you didn't know that?

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So you finally came around did you. You know, you'll come to know Lucius eventually. He really is a kind and wise...

[Sheppard turns and pulls out a Wraith stun pistol]

Oh crap.

[Sheppard stuns him]

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[The team talked about what would happen if Lucius gives away Atlantis' position]

Ronon

In which case I said I will track him down, hang him by his feet, and cut off his...

Yes, thank you. I think we get the message.

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Hey, buddy, I'd better get back and clean your quarters before the next scout.

[Pats McKay on the shoulder and walks away]

[Nervously] Right.

[He turns to leave, but Teyla and Ronon stop him, realising he took some of Lucius' herb]

Rodney!

It was just one teeny, tiny taste for research purposes.

Burn it!

All of it!

Right now!

Alright. Story of my life.

[Dr. McKay briefly looks suggestively at Teyla, who is not impressed.]

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Look, I can't say the Wraith won't be back here again, but I can promise you they're not coming back here because of him.

KKeturah

No. Not once we've sacrificed the Wraithbringer to his masters.

He prefers "Ronon." Probably also prefers not to be sacrificed to the Wraith.

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[McKay has been shot with an arrow and is now full of morphine for the pain]

Excuse me, why am I lying here?

You have an arrow, Rodney, in your gluteus maximus.

Well, that sounds painful. [lies down on the operating table with a content expression and starts to play with the words] Gluteus maximus... glooo-tus maaa... ximus... [mildly surprised] Oh my god, that's my ass, isn't it?!

Aye.

Call me if he makes any sense.

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Look, Teyla. I'm not really good at, uh ... Actually, I'm ... I'm terrible at expressing ... I don't know what you'd call it, uh ...

Feelings?

Yeah, sure, okay. The point is, I don't really have good, uh ...

Social skills.

Well, that is why I enjoyed flying choppers in the most remote part of my world before all this craziness happened, but, uh, you should know, I don't have, uh ...

Friends?

[indignantly] No – I have friends. [pause] You, Elizabeth, Ronon, Carson, even Rodney, are the closest thing I have to a ...

A family?

I'd do anything… for any one of you. If I had to give up my life the way Ronon was going to, I would.