Star vs. the Forces of Evil · Season 1
(narrating) Far, far away, on a magical land called Mewni lived a princess, Star Butterfly.
(spoken) RAIL SLIDE!!!
(narrating) Some people have called me reckless and irresponsible just because, I fight monsters and tame wild unicorns. I like to have a lot of fun and I'm about have a whole lot more because today is 14th birthday, and according to tradition, my mom the queen has to bestow upon me our greatest family heirloom: the royal magic wand!
As you can see class, most of you have done a pathetic job.
Not me. I got an F for fantastic.
That's an F for fail.
Huh?
What? You don't have tests on Mewni?
Uh, so what grade did you get?
Only the best grade you can get, A+ with a smiley face.
Ooh. I want the best one too.
Wait, don't!
Oh, Miss Skullnick. (Skullnick scratches the board and breaks the chalk after being interrupted by Star) Hey Skullzie, can you please do me a teeny favor and turn my F into an A?
YOU'RE WHINING A LOUSY GRADE?! I FINALLY GOT A GUY WITH A BOAT AND HE LEFT ME AT THE DOCK!!!!
The dock?
THE DOCK ISN'T THE IMPORTANT PART!!!!! (Star mumbles an idea) I guess I'm doomed to dry land.
I got it. I'll cast a spell to get you perfect guy and you can give me the perfect grade.
What?! (Star casts a spell) Wait!
LOVE STORM!!!
(Everyone gasps as they find out Star accidentally turned Skullnick into a troll)
Star, what did you do?!
I.. I think I turned her into a troll.
STAR BUTTERFLY RULES!!!!
Don't worry, Sabrina. The Spirit Boys are gonna catch you. Grow some pompoms!
(Star squeezes through the cheerleaders)
Do these explode? Maybe we can set them on fire!
(offscreen) Uh, we're kinda in the middle of something?
You're the leader. What's the plan?
This year we have a secret weapon. We're gonna distract them with out booty-shaking dance moves.
(Brittney shakes her booty, much to Star's disgust)
Do you know nothing of combat?! No Warrior is gonna be distracted by Chantal's booty!
Wha...
Lucky for you, my mom assigned the royal guards as my babysitters.
(Cutaway gag/flashback to Star's childhood)
You know you've done it right when you hear the neck snap.
YAAAY!!
(End of cutaway gag/flashback to Star's childhood)
I know on planet "Moo-ni" or wherever it is you're from, it may be okay to be stupid, but no pesky magical foreigner is gonna question my leadership! You are officially banned from the spirit committee!
Fine! Looks like it's all up to me.
Okay, thanks for coming out! Come back never!
I booby trapped the battlefield.
Star, "The Warriors" weren't actually gonna kill our team, they were just gonna beat them in football, which is a GAME!!!
That's it! I'm switching service providers!
Yeah, good call. Star, I feel bad. I think I may have ruined Ferguson's one chance at love. Maybe we are mess-up twins.
Oh, Marco. That pixie didn't love Ferguson. She just wanted to eat him.
Really?
And let's be honest. Ferguson does look delicious.
(Marco and Star laugh)
Well, yeah, I guess nobody's perfect.
Uh, why are you guys talking about me like I'm not here? (notices that they forgot Alfonzo) And where's Alfonzo?
(Scene shows that Alfonzo and the Empress are recently married)
You may now kiss the bride.
(Pixies congratulates the Empress)
Yay! I will make a great pixie king! I'll be very tyrannical, hmm?
(Screen fades to black)
You can't do this! This is my castle, those are my monsters!
(deadpan) Not anymore.
(quietly) Toffee?
(Toffee slams the door on Ludo, leaving him homeless, ending the episode in a cliffhanger)
(After an adventure to retrieve half of a sandwich inside a monster)
I had it in my hands Marco! I have no idea what you were thinking! (walks away)
(follows her) I was thinking of not dying!
(The monster grabs Marco's leg and Star hits it with a flower pot and closes the portal)
(yells at Marco) We went through all that trouble and this sad little scrap of sandwich is all we have to show for it!
(gets defensive to Star) That's because it's not worth dying for a stupid piece of food! (slaps the sandwich out of her hand and into the wall) I'm going to my room!
I hate when you act like this! (Referring to the first time they met) It makes me wonder why we're even friends! (Scrapes the sandwich off the wall with her hand where there are flies on it now) Ugh, where did all these flies come from?!
(Marco angrily goes to his room and so does Star)
Glossaryck, towel please!
No problem, your highness. I hope you found all the pieces to the wand.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Star vs. the Forces of Evil pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
