James T. Kirk quotes from Star Trek: The Original Series

Kirk

All right, Colonel. The truth is, I'm a little green man from Alpha Centauri, a beautiful place. You ought to see it.

I am going to lock you up for 200 years.

Kirk

That ought to be just about right.

Kirk

[about John Christopher] But in our society, he'd be useless. Archaic.

McCoy

But maybe he could be retrained, reeducated.

Kirk

Now you're sounding like Spock.

McCoy

If you're going to get nasty, I'm going to leave.

Kirk

I hope I'm not crowding you.

What's the matter? Don't you like books?

Kirk

Oh, I like them fine, but a computer takes less space.

A computer, huh? I got one of these in my office. Contains all the precedents, a synthesis of all the great legal decisions written throughout time. I never use it.

Kirk

Why not?

I've got my own system. Books, young man, books. Thousands of them. If time wasn't so important, I'd show you something--my library. Thousands of books.

Kirk

What would be the point?

This is where the law is, not in that homogenized, pasteurized, synthesized... do you want to know the law, the ancient concepts in their own language, learn the intent of the men who wrote them, from Moses to the tribunal of Alpha 3? Books.

Kirk

You have to be either an obsessive crackpot who's escaped from his keeper or Samuel T. Cogley, attorney-at-law.

Right on both counts.

I am Landru. I am he. All that he was I am, his experience, his knowledge.

Kirk

But not his wisdom. He may have programmed you, but he could not have given you a soul. You are a machine.

Your statement is irrelevant.

Spock

How often mankind has wished for a world as peaceful and secure as the one Landru provided.

Kirk

Yes. And we never got it. Just lucky, I guess.

Spock

I prefer the concrete, the graspable, the proveable.

Kirk

You'd make a splendid computer, Mr Spock.

Spock

That is very kind of you, Captain!

Spock

Captain, you almost make me believe in luck.

Kirk

Why, Mr Spock! You almost make me believe in miracles!

Spock

Captain...striking a fellow officer is a court-martial offence.

Kirk

Well, if we're both in the brig, who's going to build the subsonic transmitter?

McCoy

Well, that's the second time man's been thrown out of paradise.

Kirk

No, no, Bones, this time we walked out on our own. Maybe we weren't meant for paradise. Maybe we were meant to fight our way through, struggle, claw our way up, scratch for every inch of the way. Maybe we can't stroll to the music of the lute. We must march to the sound of drums.

Spock

Captain, there are literally thousands of these tunnels in this general area alone. Far too many to be cut by the one creature in an ordinary lifetime.

Kirk

Then we're dealing with more than one creature, despite your tricorder readings, or - we have a creature with an extremely long lifespan.

Spock

Or, it is the last of a race of creatures which made these tunnels. If so, if it is the only survivor of a dead race, to kill it would be a crime against science.

Kirk

Mr. Spock, give us a report on life beneath the surface.

Spock

Within range of our sensors, there is no life other than the accountable human residents of this colony beneath the surface. Eh, at least, no life as we know it.

Kirk

Mr. Spock, you are second in command. This will be a dangerous hunt. Either one of us, by himself, is expendable. Both of us are not.

Spock

Captain, there are approximately one hundred of us engaged in this search against one creature. The odds against you and I both being killed are two thousand, twenty eight point seven to one.

Kirk

Two thousand, twenty eight point seven to one? [Spock nods] Those are pretty good odds, Mr. Spock.

Spock

They are of course accurate, Captain.

Kirk

Of course. [pause] Well, I hate to use the word, but logically, with those kinds of odds, you might as well stay. But please stay out of trouble, Mr. Spock.

Spock

That is always my intention, Captain.

McCoy

You can't be serious. That thing is virtually made out of stone!

Kirk

Help it. Treat it.

McCoy

I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer!

Kirk

You're a healer. There's a patient. That's an order.

Spock

The Horta is badly wounded. It may die.

McCoy

It won't die. By golly, Jim, I'm beginning to think I can cure a rainy day.

Kirk

Can you help it?

McCoy

Helped it? I cured it.

Kirk

How?

McCoy

Well, I had the ship beam down 100 pounds of that thermal concrete. You know, the kind we use to build emergency shelters out of 'em. It's mostly silicone. So I just troweled it into the wound, and it'll act like a bandage until it heals. Take a look. It's as good as new.

Kirk

Well, Mr. Spock, I'm gonna have to ask you to get in touch with the Horta again. Tell her our proposition: She and her children can do all the tunneling they want, our people will remove the minerals, and each side will leave the other alone. You think she'll go for it?

Spock

It seems logical, Captain. The Horta has a very logical mind - and after close association with humans, I find that curiously refreshing.

Spock

Curious. What Chief Vanderberg said about the Horta is exactly what the Mother Horta said to me. She found humanoid appearance revolting... but she thought she could get used to it.

McCoy

Oh, she did, did she? Now tell me, did she happen to make any comment about those ears?

Spock

Not specifically, but I did get the distinct impression she found them the most attractive human characteristic of all. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that only I have—

Kirk

She really liked those ears?

Spock

Captain, the Horta is a remarkably intelligent and sensitive creature with impeccable taste.

Kirk

Because she approved of you.

Spock

Really, Captain, my modesty—

Kirk

...Does not bear close examination, Mr. Spock. I suspect you're becoming more and more human all the time.

Spock

Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted.