Casey McCall quotes from Sports Night

Dan

You can have my first-born son, just take tomorrow night's show.

Casey

So I'd have to work tomorrow and raise your child?

Casey

This girl named Lillian I just met said I dress like her father.

Dan

You do dress like her father.

Casey

You know Lillian's father?

Dan

I don't have to know Lillian's father.

Casey

You're asking me for a favor and mocking me at the same time?

Dan

You can't see anything right now, can you?

Casey

No.

Dan

You're just typing gibberish.

Casey

Yes.

Dan

Okay.

Casey

I'm a little scared of getting trapped in a fire.

Dan

I understand.

Casey

Would you help me to safety?

Dan

If there wasn't anything else better to do.

Casey

Like what?

Dan

Save myself.

Casey

That is why I discourage fraternization in the office.

Dan

You discourage fraternization?

Casey

I do.

Dan

Are you not counting the last year and a half with Dana?

Casey

I am, as a matter of fact, not counting that.

Dan

Do you know how anal you are about your books?

Casey

Uh, I know that Natalie's got your manhood stuffed inside a Prada bag.

Casey

You're dating a porn star?

Jeremy

I have met and spent social time with an actress who appears in adult films, yes.

Casey

How you manage to make dating a porn star sound like a day at the public library is beyond me.

Casey

I'm sorry.

Dan

Yeah?

Casey

I'm very sorry.

Dan

I don't think you are.

Casey

I am. In fact, I'm so sorry it's almost hard for me to think of different ways to say "bite me."

Casey

Sounds like you're ready to go for it.

Jeremy

I am. I absolutely am. I mean, if not now, when? If not me, then who?

Casey

Later and somebody else?

Dan?

Dan

Hey.

These are for you. [puts flowers on desk]

Dan

Elliott, look, last night, seriously, I was talking to Kim. I was doing a little thing.

They're not from me.

Dan

Like it'd kill you to give me flowers once in a while? [opens card] "R.W." It says "R.W."

Casey

What else does it say?

Dan

It just says "R.W." Robert Wagner has sent me flowers.

Casey

...with revenge on their minds they welcome the Tigers to the house that Ruth built this evening.

Dan

Excuse me, Casey, but Ruth didn't build the house this evening, did he?

Casey

No, Dan, and thank you very much for correcting my every mistake no matter how small, oh these many years.

Dan

What are friends for?

Casey

Annoying the hell out of you?

Dan

Exactly.