Dan Rydell quotes from Sports Night

I've noticed you people have an ability to chatter at someone with energy and enthusiasm regardless of whether they seem interested or not.

Dan

And that's not just on camera.

Dan

Good evening from New York City. I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall. Those stories plus Luciano Pavarotti shocks the track world by running the 100 meters in six seconds, my mother hits for the cycle, and Martina Hingis sings selections from No, No, Nanette.

Casey

You're watching Sports Night on CSC.

Casey

Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute, was 26 for 32 in passing...

Danny, of all the psychological problems you have, and they are myriad, not being able to pronounce Yevgeny Kafelnikov isn't one of them.

Dan

Then why can't I pronounce it?

Because it's a hard name to pronounce.

Dana

Any new word?

Dan

He's still alive if that's what you're asking.

Dana

Oh, man.

Natalie

Dana!

Dana

Hey, you think there's any chance he was gay?

Natalie

Dana!

Dana

It would make a better story.

Natalie

He's on his death bed.

Dana

I am about to make this man the most famous 7th place archer in the history of sports. I think the very least he can do is die in a timely manner... and be gay.

Dan

The one that he wanted was you anyway.

Dana

Wanted?

Dan

All this is doing is making him feel a lot less like the man he is, which is why he left Lisa in the first place. I know what he wants, and I gotta say, he's done a pretty good job of going after it, which isn't, like, the most natural thing in the world for Casey to do. And I know what you want, and all I've seen you do is hide behind this psychotic behavior all dressed up as cute. He wanted you, and he told you every possible way he could. You've just been hanging out in the men's room.

Casey

Who knows more than we do about boxing?

Dan

Boxers.

Casey

Besides them.

Dan

Boxing experts.

Casey

Besides them.

Dan

Boxing fans.

Casey

Besides them.

Dan

No one.

Casey

Damn straight!

Dan

What did you do?

Casey

I did what I do, Dan. I did what I do.

Dan

You screwed up your romantic life in front of fifth-graders?

Dan

You can have my first-born son, just take tomorrow night's show.

Casey

So I'd have to work tomorrow and raise your child?

Casey

This girl named Lillian I just met said I dress like her father.

Dan

You do dress like her father.

Casey

You know Lillian's father?

Dan

I don't have to know Lillian's father.

Casey

You're asking me for a favor and mocking me at the same time?

Dan

You can't see anything right now, can you?

Casey

No.

Dan

You're just typing gibberish.

Casey

Yes.

Dan

Okay.

Casey

I'm a little scared of getting trapped in a fire.

Dan

I understand.

Casey

Would you help me to safety?

Dan

If there wasn't anything else better to do.

Casey

Like what?

Dan

Save myself.

Casey

That is why I discourage fraternization in the office.

Dan

You discourage fraternization?

Casey

I do.

Dan

Are you not counting the last year and a half with Dana?

Casey

I am, as a matter of fact, not counting that.

Dan

Do you know how anal you are about your books?

Casey

Uh, I know that Natalie's got your manhood stuffed inside a Prada bag.

Casey

I'm sorry.

Dan

Yeah?

Casey

I'm very sorry.

Dan

I don't think you are.

Casey

I am. In fact, I'm so sorry it's almost hard for me to think of different ways to say "bite me."

Jeremy

I'll go write the pageant.

Dan

The pageant?

Jeremy

Well, there are sections of the haggadah that, quite frankly, could use a polish.

Dan

You're gonna do a rewrite on the haggadah?

Jeremy

It's not written in stone, Dan.

Dan

Actually, some of it is.