Hey, Eugene, where's that little fry cook of yours?
He thinks you're taking his job, so he's run off!
Hey, great idea! And you can give me a raise! [both laugh it off]
[watching from the freezer] Look at them. Mr. Krabs is probably offering Jim my job right now.
[stops laughing] Well, I better go find him. [SpongeBob comes out] Spongebob!
Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I was just leaving. I'm not fit to inhabit the same kitchen as Jim. So it is with a heavy heart that I relinquish my position as fry cook.
What are you thinking, SpongeBob? I'm not taking your job!
But you're the greatest fry cook in the world! The Krusty Krab deserves better than me.
Both those statements are true, SpongeBob, but there's a reason I left the Krusty Krab. It all started on a warm summer evening. Business was slow, so Squidward and I were having one of our famous bowl sessions...
[Flashback to the day Jim left the Krusty Krab]
We should open our own restaurant and stop relying on old man K's pockets.
No, thanks. I'm just doing this until my clarinet career takes off.
What if it never does? Don't you wanna have something to fall back on?
Yeah! Ha! I could lose my beautiful, flowing hair, too, but I'm not buying a wig yet. [his hair suddenly falls out]
Well, while you go wig shopping, I'm gonna go talk to Mr. Krabs. [Walks into Mr. Krabs' office] Hey, Mr. Krabs, you gotta second?
Anything for you, Jimmy, me boy. Cop a squat and lay your wreck and tell me what's on your wig, Jim.
Cut the gas, Krabs, and dig this: I've been bustin' my conk for you. You better lay on some extra gravy, or I'm going to agitate the gravel.
What now?
You know, lay a patch.
Excuse me?
Give me a raise, or I'm quitting!
A raise? That's not in my "Hiptionary." Help me get with it, Jack.
Stop talking like that!
These sideburns aren't real. [rips them off]
I need more money in my paycheck at the end of every week! Capiche?!?
[Mr. Krabs laughs hysterically; Jim leaves in a huff]
My hair! My beautiful hair! My hair! My hair!
[Flashback ends; Mr. Krabs is still laughing]
Aye, it's still as funny today as it was then. [sighs]
[Squidward is outside still crying over his hair loss]
You see, SpongeBob, you've got one quality Jim will never have: You're cheap.
Wow! I never thought about it that way!
More from this episode
More SpongeBob SquarePants quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.