Hooray. It looks like our prehistoric pals have just discovered fire, but they will soon learn that when you play with fire, you may get burned. Stay tuned. [cut back to Patchy, who is laughing hysterically]
I told you prehistoric times were fun! Hey! How's about I teach you kids how a caveman makes a fire with [holds up two sticks] two sticks? [rubs them together] Yeah... Doesn't get any cooler than that, huh? Chalk one up for Patchy! [a "I" is chalked up on the wall below a sign reading "Prehistory"] Rubbing... [he pants. Nothing is happening, and he eventually gives up] I guess this is a type of wood that doesn't burn. [a laser shoots through and lights the two sticks on fire, startling Patchy] Potty! [we see Potty with a laser cannon on his back]
[squawk] Laser technology. Score one for the future. [cut to the digital screen next to the prehistory chalk labeled "The Future." The score goes from "00" to "01"]
Well, I have something that you'll never find in your little [air quotes] future: a real live caveman. Hmm... [the caveman walks in from behind] Hey, there he is! Come on in, big troglodyte fella. Come on… [the caveman is very slowly approaching] You see kids, I found him frozen in a block of ice and then I spent three days thawing him out with my mom's hair dryer. I call him Cavey. [the caveman approaches the camera, and recoils in horror. Patchy chuckles] Isn't he something? It's OK, Cavey. [another "I" is chalked up for "Prehistory"]
That's nothing, old timer. Make way for the future. [a door swings up and a robot named X-29488 enters the room]
Greetings. I am the X-29488. How may I serve you? ["The Future" score goes from "01" to "02"; beat]
Where do you keep getting all this stuff!?
Never you mind, pops. Let's go see what Cavey thinks. [squawks. Cavey slowly approaches the robot, and touches it. The robot's eyes start flashing red. A siren goes off]
Attack! Attack! [Cavey starts to run off and the robot gives slow chase, shooting lasers at him. For every shot, "The Future" score keeps going up]
Potty! You're ruining me caveman show!
Attack! Attack! [the robot continues to shoot lasers. Cut to the exterior, which is rumbling]
Will Patchy ever get control of the special? [cut to SpongeGar, mesmerized by the fire] What will SpongeBob do with fire? [cut to the SpongeBob B.C. screen] Stay tuned to SpongeBob SquarePants B.C. and find out.
[Fade on a black screen. After the commercial break, we cut back to Patchy's cave house, the house still rumbling.]
Welcome back to SpongeBob SquarePants B.C. Sounds like things have gone from bad to worse for Patchy. Let's watch. [inside, the robot is still firing lasers, and Cavey throws a giant rock at him. Patchy is huddled behind the couch. Potty watches with a soda and popcorn]
[squawk] This is great.
Ahoy, glad you're back. [ducks a laser] Let's watch the rest of SpongeBob B.C. while I get things straightened out around here. Whoa! [ducks as a giant rock falls on him. He comes up dazed] Or... maybe not. [collapses. Cut back to the freeze frame of Sponge, Pat, and Squog]
When we last saw our hungry troglodytes, they just discovered fire. How long will it take for them to mess it up? Let's see.
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More SpongeBob SquarePants quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.