SpongeBob SquarePants · Season 2
“Dying for Pie” · Season 2
In this episode: Squidward (3), Abrasive SpongeBob (2), Mr. Krabs (1)
So, are you ready?
To go home?
No, to exchange gifts for Employee Brotherhood Day.
Mr. Krabs, you pay me to stand behind this register, and take orders, and give change. But you could never pay me enough to act brotherly towards that guy. [points to SpongeBob]
You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay. [Squidward tears up until he hears a burping sound by SpongeBob] Huh? [SpongeBob burps again]Wow, it feels like something just dropped into my lower intestine. [smells the aroma] Hey, smells like cherry. Or maybe grape. Blueberry? [the sun starts to go down] Here it is, the sunset! I always love to count it down. Five... You do the rest, buddy.
Four... three... two... one... [nothing happens]
I guess we started too early! Let's start again!
Five... four... three... [an explosion is heard from behind the wall] ...two... [crying] ...one! Well, at least l was able to make his last few hours meaningful. [sighs] I am such a good person. [another explosion is seen behind the wall but this time, it knocks the brick wall down with black smoke on top of Squidward, revealing SpongeBob, still alive and well, blowing some bomb-shaped bubbles with black smoke and the bubble explodes]
Hey, Squidward, check this out!
What the?! I-I thought you... [babbles angrily]
Squidward, we played babble like an idiot!
WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!
Well, since we finished everything on the list, I thought I'd make up a new one. [holds up a book that says "Friends 4 Ever"] I already filled up this book of ideas! We should be able to finish by January.
FORGET THE BOOK! [slaps the book away] I spent the whole day with you, doing all kinds of ridiculous things because you were supposed to EXPLODE!
You want me to explode?
Yes, that's what I've been waiting for!
Um... okay, I'll try. [strains himself] GARY! YOU ARE GONNA FINISH YOUR DESSERT, AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT! [laughs] Now it's your turn.
[yells, hops up and down furiously] THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, YOU BARNACLEHEAD!
[claps] Ooh, good one.
NO! You're supposed to explode into a million pieces! [flaps his arms]
Why would I do that?
Because the pie you ate was a bomb!
What pie?
The one I left sitting on the counter this morning that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks, and I didn't know it was a bomb, and you ate it, th... that pie!
Pie...? [realizes; takes out the exploding pie from before] Oh! You mean this pie! [Squidward is shocked] I was saving it in my pocket for us to share. Let's eat! [walks forward and trips on a rock] Oops! [the pie flies into Squidward's face in slow-motion, causing an explosion in Bikini Bottom the size of an atomic bomb]
[the town is now decimated] Ouch. [fade to black, episode ends]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
