Marcus in “Hummels & Heroin”

Marcus

Students, faculty, and staff, today we are facing an epidemic of catastrophic proportions. I know I am not alone in mourning the loss of one of our greatest entertainers, Chuck E. Cheese. Had we known the personal hell he was going through, perhaps we could've helped. But too many were more than eager to supply Chuck E. with the opioids that caused his untimely death. Chuck E. was not the first entertainer to die from this epidemic. Let us not forget Dinkie Dook the Clown, dead of a Roxanol overdose at Tommy Schneider's bar mitzvah last March. Shimmer and Shine, who both collapsed from massive amounts of oxycodone at Nelly Anderson's birthday party. Spider-Man, cut down in his prime by Demerol, and just recently, Swiper the Fox, dead of multiple opioids found in his crochet pillow. How many more entertainers must we lose before we take action?! It is time to declare war on opioids in our society!