[meets PC Principal] Oh, PC Principal. How are you today?
Doing good. What are you doing in the faculty bathroom?
You know, I think you and I got off on the wrong foot the other day. By all means, please, keep your dick out. You see, I'm not going to accept four days of detention, and... you're going to apologize publicly for being so strict to me and my friends at school.
What the frack are you talking about?
It's just a request, that's all. See you around. Oh, you seem to have dropped something, PC Principal. [picks up a pair of underwear] What's this? Why, this is a little boy's underwear. [sniffs it] Why, this is Butters's underwear.
What?
PC Principal, you have Butters's underwear? And now— [sloshes underwear in the urinal] Oh my gosh, it's got your DNA all over it. This certainly doesn't look good for you. I don't need to tell anyone about this. No, I think we have an understanding. Capiche?
[pause] What did you just say?
You mean about keeping your dick out?
"Capiche"? You're associating Italian-Americans to intimidation tactics?! You better watch your microaggressions, bro!
O-Kay. Look, you don't want to end up like the spokesman for Subway, do you?
Did you just use a term that excludes women from an occupation?! [picks Cartman up]
Okay, let's back up. [gets slammed against the stall] AAAHHH! [PC Principal slams him several times into the wall next to the mirror]
Wait a second. DID YOU JUST SAY "SPOKESMAN" INSTEAD OF "SPOKESPERSON"? WHEN WOMEN ARE JUST AS CAPABLE OF SELLING SANDWICHES AS ANYONE? [smashes Cartman into the mirror] ARE YOU PURPOSELY TRYING TO USE WORDS THAT ASSERT YOUR MALE PRIVILEGE? [smashes Cartman's head into a sink]
No, I'm sorry! I was just trying to frame you for raping Butters!
DO YOU THINK ITALIAN-AMERICANS AND WOMEN ARE LESS IMPORTANT? [throws Cartman on the floor]
Oh, God!
[punches Cartman to a bloody pulp] YOU DARE USE WORDS THAT ALIENATE TWO COMMUNITIES OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO DEAL WITH VERBAL BIASES LIKE YOURS ON A DAILY BASIS?
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